Dragonfly Across An Ancient Sky (1/2)

[lakeheartbeat]

Chen/Lu Han (Side!Baekhyun/Yixing) NC-17
36k
Warnings: violence, reincarnation, angst
Jongdae has lived locked away his entire life under the assumption that a group of bandits want to eat his heart. He grows up on Legends about the Alpha Wolf, a Sun God of the Ancient lands. When Lu Han steals him away in the middle of the night claiming to be the Alpha, Jongdae doesn’t know whether he’s here to kill him or protect him.


The Book of Meili
The Sun and The Moon

A long time ago, back when the humans were not plentiful, back when the Gods lived about in harmony, strict rules set into place and no wars looming, there were two opposing sides.

On one side was the sun, rising high in the sky and warming the land, bringing to it tranquility, peace, and all that which is good. On the other side was the moon, consuming the sun in its race to rise, looming in the sky and watching the sun dip below the horizon in fear and submission. It brought to the land a darker side, a loss of vision and of morals, but also poetry, silence, and power.

The Goddess of the sun was fair, shifting from a great white wolf, to a delicate yet powerful woman. At her side was her son, the heir to the throne and soon to be Alpha of the land they resided in, Meili.

The God of the moon was devious, sharp eyes and curled lips, eternal smirk playing on his features, a sleek black cat that shifted into a thin and handsome man. Yet the cat was also soft, a gentle creature that lived in shadows brought about by his own stereotypical nature.

The Cat had his eyes on the Wolf, the Sun Goddesses’ son, and what the Cat settles his eyes on he gets, slinking from the dark lands and across the globe, past the horizon where the sunlight fields were found.

He seduced the Wolf, intentions originally malicious, but heart too pure for it to stay that way, falling in love and eventually succumbing to it. The Wolf, he sacrificed everything to be with his Cat, leaving a life of luxury and of royal power behind to live in banishment forever.

This is the story of the exiling of the Wolf and The Cat, an outlawed joining of the Sun and the Moon.

--

It is forbidden, this ritual. Dripping with sin, and with a punishment that is sure. None of that matters to the Wolf and the Cat, dancing side by side, interwoven with lace and with all that is themselves.

They are hidden -- or so they think -- an heir and an outcast, out of sight, out of mind, away from ears. Yet the Goddess sees all, hears all, closes her eyes and listens for the wind chimes and the dull howl that echoes from her kin. The Trickster is with her, whispers ideas into her very mind, punishments fit for one that loves something forbidden.

They are allowed to finish their act, allowed to strip each other, to drink the ritual liquid and pour it down each other's throats with their tongues. The selfish, selfish, heir to the throne, giving it all away for darkness.

The Wolf is the Sun, and the Cat is the Moon, complete opposites in every way, and yet made for each other, bodies slotting together and souls intertwined perfectly.

The Wolf, he loves the Cat with every piece of him, loves him more than he cares for his Mother, the Goddess, loves him more than he cares for becoming the Alpha. The Cat, he loves the Wolf back, offers himself to him, belly up and legs spread, promising him lifetimes of just them, and the Wolf believes him, gives up his throne, his family, and much more that he hasn't told the Cat.

They are not new. Their love affair has spanned years, long and harrowing, late night runs across the fields and words whispered in darkness, always safest at night under the moon's watch. The day had never been safe, patrolled by every bead of light that shone down into the grass, onto building, across trees, the Goddess always prowling, watching over the land that she as Alpha protects.

The ritual takes long, a bond of body, of mind, of soul, immortality coming with climax, the kind of immortality not even a deity possesses, spanning across lifetimes, across worlds.

The ritual of binding is forbidden not just for their love affair, but for anyone and everyone under the watch of the Alpha. But their love, it is forbidden also, for the son of the Sun Goddess must stay pure on his travels to the throne and to Alpha status, something which he has not done, something which has been broken, shattered, leaving the Goddess to snarl in betrayal, her own life coming dangerously near its end.

The Wolf's voice is a gentle breeze, comforting and filled with promises as he softly speaks the words that will create a canvas for their souls to walk upon, to mate the very essence that has created them, forever to be locked within body after body.

It's dark here, as it always is in the Cat's quarters, the moon acting as a beacon as they lie tangled and spent in the grass, forbidden ritual complete and bound as soulmates forever. The Cat is quiet, though his breath has not yet stilled, ragged from the force of the ritual.

It doesn't last long, this calm, this daze of emotion and of purpose. Soon, the Goddess descends upon them, an act of disowning the Wolf, teeth bared and ears flat, the Trickster grinning beside her as if he's found his next meal.

The Wolf does not rise to the bait, remaining human and simply winding an arm around the Cat's slim waist, standing up for what he loves, taking a step forward into a new life, though it will not be easy.

"You are to be banished and stripped of your status," the Trickster says in place of the Goddess who is overcome with fury. "The Goddess now has no son."

"So be it," The Wolf replies, head held high and sharp eyes flashing with something beyond comprehension. "My future doesn't lie with the life of a deity."

"You are to be cursed eternally," the trickster says in a low voice, mouth curving from a grin to a full blown smile, innocent-looking yet devious. He ignores the Wolf in favour of raking judgemental eyes over the figure of the Cat beside him, a less brave deity, one who understands power, understands the rationality of this situation.

"The Cat shall become mortal," the Trickster announces, running his finger down the torso of the Cat in one fluid motion, not flinching even the slightest when a short noise of pain is released. "And the Wolf will stay immortal, but shall be confined to either form. Wolf during the day, man at night. Not by choice, and irreversible of course."

He runs a finger down the Wolf's torso, smirking when the Wolf hides the pain, stays rigid and solid, seemingly uncaring. The change is not immediate as it is still night, the moon looming in the sky above them.

"It is reversible," The Wolf says quietly, though he's stopped from continuing when the Goddess bursts forth in her human-like form, the spitting image of the Wolf, eyes glittering and hair long and golden.

"You have no remorse," she says shortly. Not a question, just a quiet statement, a shimmer of disbelief in her tone.

"I don't," the Wolf says, smiling at the Goddess, a closed mouth sneer that doesn't reach his eyes. "I made my choice a long time ago, and I have no regrets."

She says nothing, has nothing really to say, just turns on her heel and becomes a wolf again, running across the hills and away, back to her palace in the sky. The Trickster spares one last glance at the Wolf and The Cat, two deities who stand side by side as traitors and as outcasts, before turning to follow the Goddess.

"I'm going to die," the Cat whispers, looking at his own hands as if they have betrayed him, as his body is no longer his own. "I'm not a God anymore."

"You will die," the Wolf admits, though he does not seem saddened by this, voice calm and unwavering. "You will die but you will return. The Trickster forgot one thing when he placed this curse on you."

"And what is that?" the Cat asks, louder, but still nearly too quiet to be heard.

"Unlike the other deities you do not birth heirs. You perish when your time has been used up and you return." The Wolf says, pointing out a flaw in the trickster's plans, in his cursed magic. "You'll be reincarnated into a new life."

"And you're immortal," the Cat exclaims, heart aching at the realization, pain dulling now that he's somewhat healing already, somewhat understanding of their situation. "You'll wait for me?"

"We're bound. In this life and the next and all that come after." The Wolf assures, turning towards his lover and placing a gentle hand upon his cheek, soft lips brushing against soft lips.

"And what if I don't remember you?" The Cat asks, still unsure, shaken from the Goddess and from the Trickster. He has no doubt in the Wolf, but he has doubts in the world, in the way magic weaves and the way curses fall even without someone to utter them.

"It'll be fine," the Wolf says, finality in his voice, and yet the Cat worries still. Worries afterwards, about the surety in that gentle breeze of a voice.

"We'll be fine," the Cat echoes, intertwining his fingers with those of the Wolf, and nodding gently, though he does not believe his own words.

"We'll be fine."

---

The sky isn't dark when it happens. It isn't storming, isn't a downpour of centuries, letting the world know that the Cat is gone. No, it's bright, sunny, clear, everything one would expect out of a day to celebrate.

It's a quiet kind of day, birds chirping absently, and the light sloshing of the river seeming to echo across the tops of the tall trees on it's banks. It’s this that makes the sound of a cat drowning project so clearly from the river, and to the field where Lu Han is resting, tail curled around himself and nose resting in his paws.

Yowling. Loud, desperate, scared. Lu Han leaps up from the ground, shaky on his paws from sleep, careening down the slope to the banks of the river. The water is still aside from the gentle moving of the current, and the pain in the Wolf's chest, the snapping of the cords, tells him what he doesn't want to know. What he has never wanted to know.

Chen is gone. Drowned beneath the waves of a river. It's anti-climatic, quick, a fool's mistake to bathe without help. Lu Han has never had to experience this, has never seen a deity die a mortal's death.

He sits by the river, a man now under the light of the rising moon, and mourns. Stares at the still water, head in his hands, silent tears streaming down his cheeks.

"In the next life, my love." Lu Han whispers, looking every bit like a wilting human and nothing like the Sun God he is. "In the next life we shall meet again. The outcast is not left out of that at least."

He calls out to his mother, grants Chen the passage into the next life, surprisingly calm for someone whose soul has just been split in half, but such is the way of the Alpha wolf, strength, persistence, smile in the face of death.

He does not speak during his ascension, though he does smirk -- a twisted kind of smile, sarcastic and dark -- when he finds that the Trickster has disappeared upon hearing of the Cat’s death, has discovered yet another flaw in his curse, in his plans.

Without the Cat, the Wolf is once again disobeying no rules, has no reason to be an outcast, and is forced by the laws of nature back into his position, rising to a throne he does not want when the Goddess perishes.

He’ll take the position of Alpha wolf and Sun God, one who watches over Meili, and also the one who watches for the Cat. Always brooding, never completely around for his people, like a constant cloud covering his own sun.

----
The Cat, he is cunning, brave, selfless and restless.

Jongdae has always been fascinated by wolves. Their quiet, but dangerous aura, their large searching eyes and their glistening fur that seems to light up under the stray light of the moon. When he was younger, wolves were all that he knew, given the lack of modern books at his disposal, and the abundance of Ancient Legends, speaking of the great white sun goddess, and her son. The Goddess, Xiangyue was loving, strong, causing the sun to rise and darkness to fall, one who loves the land and her people.

It isn't the Sun Goddess that has always interested Jongdae, but her son. A wolf without a name, the heir of the Sun Goddess, a damned creature that fell in love with the outcast Cat, a deity of the moon, and all things tricky. Little is known about the son of the Sun Goddess in this lifetime, whether or not he exists with the Cat, but Jongdae is forever curious, running fingers across the faded drawings of wolves, tracing the outline of cats..

Something about the books bring out emotion in Jongdae, cause his heart to pang with something even he is unsure the meaning of. He wants to know the truth behind these stories, wants to know if the Goddess is real, if her offspring found the happiness he so obviously wanted with his cat lover.

Minseok tells Jongdae that he's silly, encourages him to read the stories of the Trickster, a benevolent and yet malicious being, tries to distract him from the sad tale that's told monthly at the ceremony.

He's technically not allowed to leave his floor, not allowed to seek out new literature. He needs to know more, to know what becomes of the Goddess Xiangyue when she perishes, what becomes of her son, the nameless wolf. He’s always intent on discovering more, learning about the outside world he’s never been allowed to see.

Jongdae's anxious too, knowing that the monthly ceremony is approaching, that he'll be forced to stand in the courtyard gardens to watch the dance and acting performance that he detests for reasons even he cannot explain.

Breathing in fresh air once a month that he can't properly enjoy, at least not with the world dark and his heart constricting painfully. Every time is like the first, heart beating too quickly, breath coming in short gasps.

Jongdae wants to know why this happens, why he can't control himself while watching two people he knows very well dance around in costumes, playing a tale of lost love and of desperation.

Minseok won't tell him, is just his royal guard, stationed on duty near his room to keep watch over him, though Jongdae's convinced it's less about protecting him and more about stopping him from escaping, from running out and away from the castle.

And it kind of is about not letting Jongdae escape, because he routinely does. Jongdae is stubborn, frustrated, sneaking from his room and through the castle in search of new books, in search of more on a story he already has put too much time into.

He usually does it when Sehun is on duty as it's easier to open his door with a quiet creak and walk past him, but Jongdae is also convinced Minseok doesn't really care if he leaves him room; he sometimes pretends to be asleep as Jongdae tiptoes by.

Tonight he's gathered tantra books, books on meditation, on making himself better, learning to tune out the ache in his chest that grows more painful everyday. Learning to deal with the constant claustrophobia that is his life trapped behind walls, behind the glass of his window.

It's Thursday tonight, twenty-four hours before the full moon and until the monthly ceremony. On Thursdays, Jongdae gets to open the window, digging beneath his bed for the twisted piece of metal he uses to undo the lock, ready to breathe in air that will no doubt suffocate him tomorrow.

He opens the window carefully, quietly, though he knows that tonight he’s alone in his side of the castle, nearly everyone off preparing for the ceremony, temporarily unconcerned with Jongdae. They’d given up guarding him during this time when they’d all realized he just sits in his room, not even trying to run away from the ceremony, or from the supposed bandits that might appear to slash his throat open any second.

There’s a quiet kind of breeze, little bells singing in the distance; no doubt swaying in the gusts. Jongdae can hear the shuffling of feet down below him and he smiles, leaning over the sill and looking down near the grass. A dragonfly darts past him, silhouetted against the evening sky, wings humming and figure dancing across his vision.

"Yixing!" Jongdae calls down below him, grinning when he walks into sight, a wrapped cloth bag in his arms. "Did you go to town today?"

"Yup," Yixing answers, voice bright and cheery as it reaches Jongdae, lifting up the bag like a prize. "Can I come up? Everyone else is practising but I got leave to go buy supplies from town."

"So we're safe?" Jongdae says, eyes darting to his door, just in case Minseok has returned early to stand and wait.

"Keep your window open," Yixing tells him, and his voice grows quieter as he walks away from the window and out of sight, towards the smaller, hidden door that leads directly to Jongdae's tower. "They've lit the fire pits tonight and it smells heavenly.”

-

Yixing goes to the town near them once a month, for supplies, food, secret little trinkets to bring Jongdae, small things and big things, all of which end up hidden underneath his bed, locked away in a rusted old chest; something given to him by Yixing on one of his very first visits, when he'd decided Jongdae deserved to at least have some happiness locked away by himself.

That was eight years ago, the first time Yixing had slipped into Jongdae's room with the chest in hand, brilliant grin and soft eyes. Jongdae had been twelve at the time, still too young to understand exactly why he remains in the castle at all times. Yixing had been seventeen, new to the castle, dancing clumsy and attitude naive, a replacement for Baekhyun's old dance partner.

Yixing had promised to always bring Jongdae things from town, to visit him every Thursday to sing from the grass below, to dance in the field just in Jongdae's sight, or on special occasions like today, climb up to his floor and into his room to show him gifts, tell him stories, flop around on his bed and grin at him.

Jongdae would be lying if he ever said he hadn't developed the slightest crush on Yixing over the years, but it's kind of expected when the only attention he's ever gotten has been from Yixing, a good-looking and amiable boy, talented, intelligent, modest.


But Yixing has Baekhyun, and besides, Jongdae has no mind for romance when he'll never get to experience anything from the books Yixing buys him; the ones where pretty girls meet pretty boys, corsets discarded and skin glowing.

Jongdae enjoys reading them though, the change of pace from his boring lectures pain of enduring the the books of legend. Tonight Yixing has brought him more books, the shrimp snacks Jongdae adores and something new.

"What's this?" Jongdae asks, eyeing Yixing curiously as he turns the small box over in his hands, afraid to open it and find out what might be hiding inside.

"It's a charm necklace," Yixing explains, jerking his head towards the box. "Open it! It only has one charm for now because I thought I could get you a new one to add each month."

"Congratulations! You lived through another performance of hell, here's a charm." Jongdae says sarcastically, but a tiny smile appears on his features, lips curving upward even more than they do naturally.

It's a tiny wolf, eyes red with tiny rubies, crystal body glinting in the light of Jongdae's many scented candles. The chain is long, and Jongdae can see where new charms can be fastened onto it, running his fingers delicately over each chain link.

"Here," Yixing says warmly, leaning forward to take the chain from Jongdae's grasp, beckoning him forward. "Let me put it on for you."

"Won't they know you were here if I wear it to the ceremony?" Jongdae asks, hesitating and wary, worried that Yixing will receive punishment from his father, the King.

"They know I went to town today," Yixing says simply, seemingly unfazed by Jongdae's concern. "And I'll be seeing you tomorrow for rehearsal of your narration, so we have an alibi."

Jongdae's face contorts into a grimace at the thought of rehearsing the words he knows by heart, the introduction to a tale he's whispered to himself in front of the cracked mirror in his washroom, said out loud in a shaky voice since a young age.

He leans into Yixing's touch unconsciously, a thank you said quietly as Yixing attaches the clip at the back of the chain. The cold of the metal feels foreign against Jongdae's skin, but not unpleasant, and he glances down to see the wolf sitting proudly against his chest like a pet happily nestled between his shoulders.

Something about it feels right, and Jongdae finds him absently playing with the piece of jewellery the rest of the night, long after Yixing leaves and he's under his blankets, eyes on the moon that is now full.

----

The day of the ceremony is bittersweet, but it’s always this way for Jongdae. He gets to go outside, gets to smell the flowers, blossoming in the freshness of a new Spring. He gets to look into the dark night sky, admire the feel of the world around him first hand, and not just with his nose pressed against sealed glass.

On the other hand, he has to watch the dance of the Sun and Moon, the tale of the Cat and the Wolf, a sad tale of banishment, pain, of death. Performed monthly during the full moon by the royal dancers Baekhyun and Yixing, entwined in each other with ribbons and with prose, heart wrenching, yet beautiful.

Jongdae is silent during these times, allowing Sehun to dress him, body moving nearly on it's own as he's fitted into ceremonial robes, crescent moon clasps put into his hair and sleeves falling to the tips of his fingers.

He's usually left to stand in a side room somewhere, studying himself in the floor length mirror on the opposite wall, shuffling his feet in agitation and brushing his bangs from his face; the clasps are heavy, uncomfortable, and the robes feel awkward, pooling around his ankles and too-tight at his waist.

Jongdae can already hear the music playing, a sorrowful flute through an open window. He doesn't walk to the window to gaze down to the courtyard to see what it is. He knows very well who plays the flute, and he knows very well this tune, humming along with it naturally, tugging at the material near his waist.

He's impatient, pacing, scuffing the bottom of the robes in a way he knows upsets his Mother. It's taking longer today, and Jongdae just wants to be outside, to cover the dull ache that crawls it's way through his chest with the fresh scent of lavender.

That is if Baekhyun takes pity on him this month, if he allows Jongdae to secretly follow him into the gardens -- the outer edge where he's not allowed -- to pick the flowers and nestle them inside his robes. Lavender for the nights Jongdae lies awake trying to pick apart his life, trying to figure out why he's royalty in captive, like a horse in an elegant stall that's never allowed to race.

He's lost in his thoughts, destroying his newly manicured nails with his teeth, when Minseok comes to take him downstairs. Jongdae jolts when he feels a hand on his arm, sighing in relief when he sees familiar large eyes.

"Finally," Jongdae grumbles, following Minseok down a hallway he knows well, having crept along the walls late at night when Minseok is sleeping. He's pretty sure Minseok knows this fact, but Jongdae still does it anyways, slinks out of bed and picks his lock, holes himself up in the library for the night, searching and searching for something new.

Minseok chuckles, his own ceremonial robes shorter around his ankles, a brilliant blood red, waist adorned with a gold sash, sword glinting in the light of the chandeliers. He leads Jongdae down the flight of stairs he's grown to hate, the twisting, black steps that end in the front foyer, a place that brings him outdoors and yet that he never sees.

"The fireflies are out tonight," Minseok comments as they approach the front doors, large and imposing, the family crest upon them. "It should make for a nice touch, possibly make the experience more enjoyable."

"More enjoyable," Jongdae mutters darkly, lips curving downwards into a bitter frown. His robes catch under his feet and he stumbles slightly, a very unprincely look, but he doesn't care, arranging them so that the blackened scuff mark is visible.

Jongdae isn't sure where his parents are, nor does he care, taking his seat in between Minseok and Sehun on the golden benches, eyes trained on the glowing ring of fire, little candles placed side by side by side, creating a circular stage.

This is where the ceremony will take place, where Jongdae will stand and utter the opening narrative, voice monotone. It's where Yixing and Baekhyun will dance and sing, to each other and to Jongdae, with his parents watching on, the silent King and Queen, parental figures that have never really been figures.

It's a quiet ceremony, only the most trusted allowed to be present, and Jongdae takes a deep breath, holds the leather bound book in his lap and refuses to meet his parents eyes. He knows of his supposed curse, knows of the bandits, the thieves, the cults that have searched for him from birth, but refuses to acknowledge the way he's been dealt with, the invisible chains that bind his wrists.

A figure walks into the middle of the fiery circle, robes blending in with the dark of the garden, little bits of colour shining through with every flicker of the candles. He's wearing a mask with a hole delicately and artfully cut for his mouth, for a flute to rest against his lips, but Jongdae knows who he is.

It's Kim Joonmyun, the King's advisor and top musician, someone who Jongdae has only met face to face once, though it was a memorable meeting. Jongdae had been tiptoeing to the library, late at night and against the rules, running into Joonmyun in the darkened hallways and fearing a punishment.

But Joonmyun had never told on him, had simply put a finger to his lips with a sad kind of smile on his lips, as if he, like Minseok, understood the restlessness and pain of Jongdae's life. Jongdae had developed a respect for him after that, on a different level than the few others in his life.

He had granted Jongdae his escape that night, and for that Jongdae pays extra attention during his flute playing, leaning forward, head tilted. Joonmyun plays well, a haunting lullaby, the song of the Moon, to be played when it's full and looming in the sky, such as tonight.

It echoes, notes hoarse and scratchy at some points; the flute is in need of a cleaning, or perhaps a replacement. It catches Jongdae's ears though, causes the fireflies dancing around them to glow brighter, and the melody sound just a little bit sadder.

As he plays, two masked figures dance into the centre of the circle around him. One has the mask of a wolf, white with red marking around its eyes, and the other the mask of a cat, black as night with a curled smile, much like the one Jongdae himself has. They wear simple robes of contrasting colours, the cat in silver, the wolf in gold.

They stand on either side of Joonmyun, ribbons in hand and faces bowed, waiting for their cue, the last notes of the song fading away as Joonmyun bows and walks out of the circle to sit beside Jongdae's parents.

Jongdae waits exactly five seconds before getting to his feet, the brass sound of the gong echoing from beside him as Sehun taps it lightly, to begin the story. He opens the book to a familiar page, tracing his fingers over the faded ink before clearing his throat quietly and speaking.

"A long time ago, back when the humans were not plentiful, back when the Gods lived about in harmony, strict rules set into place and no wars looming, there were two opposing sides...."

He recites the entire introduction by heart, eyes settling in front of him and not on the page, book only open as is the rules of the ceremony, finger following his place on the paper even without his eyes trained to it.

As Jongdae speaks, Baekhyun and Yixing begin to dance, twirling in time with each other, but on opposite ends of the fiery ring that encircles them. He stops speaking when the real story starts, Baekhyun as the Cat stepping carefully around the edges and towards Yixing the Wolf, ribbons covering him like a curtain.

They dance the ritual, embracing each other carefully and entangling the ribbons, silent and weirdly erotic, though all it invokes in Jongdae is a sense of foreboding, and of deep sadness he will never understand.

The thing that bothers him most about the ceremony is the lack of music during the dance itself, Baekhyun and Yixing stepping in time to a beat that does not exist, fireflies disappearing as the story is told, as Sehun appears in the circle, golden mask of the Sun Goddess covering his face.

Jongdae detests this part, when Sehun's voice rings clear in the gardens saying words of hatred and of despair, condemning the two dancers. Minseok gives Jongdae's shaking hand a squeeze before slipping on the mask of the Trickster's, stars for eyes and mouth a curved clown smile, dancing down to curse Yixing.

Yixing stands tall, tossing his ribbons in Minseok's direction and moving closer to Baekhyun, speaking his own parts, one that Jongdae mutters under his breath.

"I made my choice long ago," Yixing says firmly, and his feet still tap in time to the invisible music, the chirping of a bird in the distance the only sound even close. "And I have no regrets."

It's a line that Jongdae knows well, that he has held close to his heart among the lines said to the Cat, the words of promise and of love, Minseok and Sehun dancing out of the candlelight and back to Jongdae's sides, encasing him into the bench like the royal guards they are.

When Baekhyun and Yixing crouch low to the ground, crawling to positions near the edges, moving the candles delicately to form a rectangle rather than a circle, Jongdae sucks a breath in, holds it, waits for the dread to settle into the pit of his stomach. He holds the tie of his robe tightly in his fingers, attempting to not shake, but something distracts him, has his ears trained away from the awful scene before him and towards the sky.

The sound of chimes. Sweet and soft, like tiny bells, quiet in his ears, ringing in the distance.

Jongdae has never heard this sound before, eyes flicking away from Baekhyun, neck craned slightly to look behind the benches, discreet enough to be noticed by a concerned Minseok beside him, but not by his parents who watch the scene like it's the first time they've seen it, entranced and amazed.

"Jongdae." Minseok hisses, fingers gentle as they rest on his forearm. "You need to pay attention. I know it's hard but-"

"It's not that." Jongdae breathes out, listening as the chiming bells sound louder, as if right next to his ear. "Don't you hear the bells?"

Minseok shakes his head, looking perplexed, eyes shifting towards the Baekhyun, who yowls convincingly, a spectacular death scene as he artfully dances his way through drowning. Jongdae finally looks back, but the dread is less now, heart seeming to yearn for something he doesn't quite understand, even as he watches Yixing curl up on the ground in pain, sweeping his ribbons in motions.

The candles all go out in succession, shrouding the gardens in darkness, only two remaining lit, held in Baekhyun and Yixing's hands as they sit at Joonmyun's feet. The flute is back in his hands, same melody pouring out, but slower, sadder, the end of the story of the Wolf and the Cat.

Joonmyun finishes his sorrowful flute lament, and all three of them bow, disappearing into the shadows as everyone in the garden rises to their feet, eyes on Jongdae. He's distracted, still hearing the bells and chimes that seem further away now, fading in the distance, but he opens the book to the final page, reciting the prayer, an oath to the dark lands of the past and to the Sun Goddess Xiangyue.

Jongdae bids farewell to his parents with a stiff bow and barely a second of eye contact, breathing deeply as he turns to find Baekhyun. The chimes have ceased completely by now, shrouding the gardens in near complete darkness and silence, save for the soft sound of Jongdae's footfalls as he slips away from Minseok's side and towards the thick bushes that outline the pathways.

--

Jongdae finds Baekhyun right where he thinks he will, standing in the shadows and staring at the moon, not even noticing Jongdae walking up to him. He startles a little, but smiles warmly, eyes dancing mischievously as he steps forward to be illuminated by the flickering lamps that hang overhead the innermost part of the garden.

"You were distracted tonight," Baekhyun hums, taking Jongdae's hand and leading him towards the lavender. "So was I actually. Something felt off."

"Off?" Jongdae echoes, crouching and picking only the stalks with the darkest petals, ones with the stronger smell.

"I was almost worried something would go wrong," Baekhyun says softly, mysteriously. He's standing still, a change from his usual snarky and upbeat manner, the teasing way in which he keeps Jongdae company while they lurk in the garden.

"Did it have to do with the chimes?" Jongdae tries, hoping that someone else had heard them. "I heard chimes earlier, like little bells dancing in the wind."

"Chimes?" Baekhyun says, and his eyes flash with something dark. He recovers quickly, a suspicious look of recognition replaced with confusion. "I didn't hear them, but it can't be too concerning."

"You seem concerned," Jongdae points out, not missing that shift from worry to feigned perplexity.

"Anything out of place is concerning now that you're nearly of age," Baekhyun says shortly, pulling a silky tie from within his robes and bundling the lavender stalks together before placing them gently in Jongdae's arms. "We're all a little on edge lately."

"Do you think they'll really come for me?" Jongdae asks, eyes darting around in the dark, as if an ambush may appear any second to pounce upon him, to eat his heart and seal his grave.

"They may," Baekhyun says honestly, patting Jongdae's arm and holding the door open for him, a quiet back door that leads from the gardens to the kitchens, a sneaky way inside. "Though there have not been any attempts since you were a child, the myth does state that once you turn twenty-two, you're in danger."

"And why is it that this myth even exists?" Jongdae grumbles, burying his nose in the lavender stalks and sighing. It's no hope really, asking the same question he's been asking to no answer at all for years, waiting to see if one day he'll hear differently. "If I'm so obviously human and not some magical being,why would they want my heart?"

"Because those with greed will believe nearly anything," Baekhyun says softly, pushing Jongdae gently down the hallway and towards his room, grinning brilliantly at a half-asleep Minseok before stopping in front of the bedroom door. "Get some sleep. Yixing will be tutoring you first thing in the morning and he expects you bright and intelligent."

"I'm never bright and intelligent," Jongdae mutters darkly as Baekhyun walks off, glancing towards Minseok's slumped figure. He crouches beside him and tucks a flower in beside his sword, for good luck and for calm, at least until Sehun wakes to take over his place as immediate guard.

Baekhyun’s words stick, and so do the bells, faintly noticeable even while Jongdae is locked away in his room, window closed and away from danger.

---

It's always been like this.

Jongdae can't remember a time when he wasn't under constant guard, wasn't forced to wander the four walls of his bedroom, wasn't forced into an awkward formal relationship with those introduced to him as his parents.

He's a Prince, born into the Royal Family of Meili, the kind of thing that should have led him to privilege, to responsibility and loyalty.

But there's a myth, he's been told, a story that says the first son of the third kin, born on the curve of the full moon when the signs change with the seasons, is a powerful being, memories locked away of past lives and a dark energy within.

They say that Jongdae is an outcast, a child born of the moon and of promise, and they say that if one eats the heart of this Prince, immortality and unimaginable power will fall upon them, granting them everything they'd ever need.

And so Jongdae has been in danger since birth, born on the Equinox and fitting the criteria of the myth. Locked away and forgotten except when dragged out for his lessons, for the monthly ceremonies of the King and Queen's religion, worshipping the Alpha wolf and learning his story.

He'd been taught lessons under the strict and watchful eye of a man called Yifan, someone who'd fled the castle and the country after attempting to murder Jongdae, the first but also last time anyone actually did try to steal his heart.

Yifan had overheard about the myth, something he had never been allowed to know about, had never been told of why Jongdae is more a prisoner than a Prince. It had been at a rehearsal for the ceremony, Jongdae muttering his narration to himself in the corner of the dressing chambers, a shy and naive twelve year old still.

Yifan had been Baekhyun's dance partner, playing the part of the Wolf, a quiet yet friendly man, intelligent and talented.

And yet hearing Joonmyun the flute player and royal advisor speak of the myth had ignited a very human greed, the snapping of morals so loud that it's a surprise it wasn't heard in the hushed dressing chamber.

Yifan had attacked Jongdae during his Chinese lessons, dagger at his throat and eyes glinting with danger, a feral smile on his lips.

It was Minseok who'd stopped him and effectively saved Jongdae's life, lithe figure flashing across his tear blurred vision and directly at Yifan. Minseok hadn't killed him, just injured him, blunt handle of his sword pressed to Yifan's throat until he'd passed out.

Jongdae hadn't understood what had fully happened at the time, too young to grasp how fragile a human being's morality is, how those who want will change in the blink of an eye to achieve their sickening goals.

He'd been terrified for weeks, refusing to be near another human being that wasn't Minseok, convinced that even his parents, even Baekhyun could be intent on killing him, on sinking their teeth into his still beating heart.

Jongdae had taken the myth seriously after that, had been more careful crawling past Minseok and into the dark corridors of the east wing. He hadn't had any lessons for two months, the ceremony done quietly, with less finesse as Joonmyun attempted to play both the wolf and the musician, struggling with rushing to get to his parts.

Jongdae's subdued nature, his fearfulness and skittish jumping every time he entered the library had stuck until Yixing had come, until Yixing had brought him presents, had laughed with him, taught him to trust again.

The fear of the myth waned over the years, the only attempt on Jongdae's life having been Yifan, though he still has nightmares every once in a while, still flinches when he's startled, when Baekhyun bursts from behind a bookshelf to drape himself over Yixing.

Jongdae is growing fearful again however, the promise of him coming of age, of his heart, body and mind being adult, ready for the taking and the consuming, the full power of his being the myth had said.

With his birthday now a month away, the age of twenty-two just around the corner, Jongdae spends more time in his room, more time with his books, staring out the window and not daring to open it.

It could happen any day now, someone crawling on the roof, climbing the sides of the building, a carefully aimed arrow shot straight for his throat during the ceremony. He thrashes that night in bed, unable to sleep as he thinks of the bells, and of Baekhyun's quietly spoken words, his quietly spoken warning.

--

Jongdae doesn't look at the new books Yixing had brought into his room until nearly a week later, curled in his favourite corner of the library, lavender candles just enough light for him to read the words scrawled across the cover and across the pages.

It's late, far past midnight and Jongdae shouldn't be here. He's not even reading the books in the library, could easily have lit candles and curled up next to the window in his room to read, but the library is his favourite place, dense, enclosed.

It has the kind of quiet his room lacks, one that doesn't feel suffocating, and instead one that feels calm, comforting, the smell of wood, of books, of lavender from his castle making him feel at peace, sinking down lower into the armchair he's sprawled on.

The first book makes him giggle. It's a very Yixing book, made for children with fluffy pink sheep on the cover, a poetry book that teaches the Melreki, the language of Meili in simplified and cute terms.

Jongdae reads it out loud to himself in a childish voice, laughing a little too loudly and having cover his mouth at the sound of his own voice. He's overtired, the fumes from his candles getting to him, but he doesn't want to sleep, not until he's looked through the stack of five or so books on the table next to him.

The next few are generic books like the ones his mother leaves lying around, a cookbook, and a romance novel about a married woman who falls prey to a lust demon. The last one catches Jongdae's interest and he reads the back of the book interestedly, wanting to know how the writer spoke of the lust demons, and if they spoke of the major and minor Gods, and of the system in place.

He's pleasantly surprised when a skim through of the first bit shows him that it's not just a typical story and it makes him grin, pleased to have a tale to read multiple times as he struggles to not die of boredom in his tower.

The final book however, piques his interest fully.

He holds it carefully, running a finger along the ripping seam and across the front cover, eyes shining. On the cover is a drawing a wolf wrapped around a glowing ball of light, red markings around it's eyes and fur seeming to shine even on the worn material of the book.

Jongdae can't read the writing on the cover, can't even recognize the language, and he vows to ask Yixing what it means. The book itself he discovers upon turning a few pages, is in Melreki and perfectly readable, stiff formal sentences almost poetic in the way they're placed on paper.

Jongdae is entranced, and he reads until he doesn't notice the time pass by, jolting up from the stories etched onto the pages in a shock. He gathers up his books, thoughts spinning as he darts back to his room, nearly tripping over Sehun in the process, sheepish kitten grin on his lips as Sehun tiredly raises an eyebrow.

"One of these days I'm going to tell on you," Sehun says with a yawn, sour frown on his face and arms stretching above him. "The floor isn't comfortable you know. Especially when you're not actually guarding anyone."

"Stay awake next time and stop me," Jongdae says with a wink, giggle and dodging the swing of Sehun's arm, hearing a noise of annoyance follow him into his room. He slams the door playfully, flopping onto his bed and automatically training his eyes towards the window, realizing with a late panic that he's just barely made it in time.

The sun is rising, light peeking around the tall trees outside the tower and into the room. Jongdae blinks in the brightness, reaching under his bed to pull out a single lavender stalk, one to tuck underneath his pillow for good sleep and good dreams.

He has no idea what time it is, crawling under the covers for what's probably going to be a short nap before Minseok inevitably drags him out of bed and down to the library for his lessons.

Jongdae can't sleep however, tossing and turning and wanting to continue reading the book he'd been engrossed in, thoughts constant as he tries to decipher the story, tries to understand the meanings and the emotion it invokes in him.

This book is telling the story he'd always wanted to know, the tale of how the Wolf had lived alone for many years until Xiangyue had perished and the Trickster had disappeared, stepping down from his role when the Wolf had been called by the winds. The wolf had returned to the sun lands to take his place as the next Alpha, free of his sins and of his outcast status, but not free of his curse.

The book had said that the Alpha was selfish, not bothering with the needs of his lands or his people, only caring about his search for the Trickster, his hunt to have his head and reverse his curse.

The Wolf had hidden himself away for so long, never showing himself to the people of the ancient lands or of any place at all until he'd grown away into legends, a story unknown to most, the tale of the Wolf who could only be a man as he pleases in the darkening hours of night.

He hadn't gotten far enough however, to learn if the Wolf had ever caught the Trickster, if the Cat had ever returned, body fresh and mind old, to be immortal and bound once again. Jongdae can't sleep, can't focus, jittery throughout his lesson on the wars of old Earth.

It's not that it's a boring subject, history. It's just that it's the wrong history, the history that Jongdae doesn't care about. He wants to know about the beginnings of New Earth, wants Yixing to bring him more books from the town library, wants to learn more about the other Gods, the magical beings of the seasons, and of the water.

Instead, he sits through Yixing speak of 2025, the year when the Old humans destroyed themselves with chemicals, mixing them and creating destruction of each other and of enemies; a perplexing subject to Jongdae who cannot understand the process of creating things out of other things.

Jongdae is aware that magic is only something harnessed in the New Age, replacing industrialism with the natural flow of the Earth, but he can't seem to wrap his mind around the idea of fearing something that gives them so much, of dismissing it as not real.

The lesson takes too long, Jongdae nearly dozing off amidst stories of dystopia and ruin, human beings struggling to regain what they'd lost, dying slowly without food or clean air. It's tragic, but so are Jongdae's sleeping habits, and his eyes flutter closed, only to snap open again when Yixing shakes him roughly, half-hearted glare fixed on Jongdae.

"Are you even listening?" Yixing asks with a sigh, closing the book in his lap and eyeing Jongdae suspiciously.

"I was," Jongdae says, lazy grin settling in as he stretches, wiggling around in his chair. "It's so boring."

"Maybe it would be less boring if you actually slept at night instead of sneaking in here to read books," Yixing scolds, ignoring the whine that comes from Jongdae, but he puts down the history book and settles in himself, a sign that the lesson is over. "You know, I might actually start giving you tests soon if you can't learn to focus."

"I'm sorry," Jongdae mumbles, but he doesn't sound sorry, instead picking up his own book off the floor and shoving it into Yixing's lap. "I was reading this. The book you got me but--"

"I have no clue what the cover says," Yixing interrupts, predicting with accuracy what Jongdae is about to ask, apologetic and gentle smile reaching his eyes. "It's in Mandarin though, that I do know. I assume it's the name of the Wolf."

"The name of the Wolf," Jongdae says, sucking in a breath. "If it's in Mandarin why is the rest in Melreki?"

"It wasn't written in the Beginnings age I don't think," Yixing says, flipping through some pages and humming. "The word must have still been recognized at the time this was written, but the language has been dead since the very beginning of New Earth."

"It has all the missing pieces," Jongdae says excitedly, flipping through to where he'd left off, eyes flying across the last few sentences he'd read before fleeing to his room. "If you found the book so easily, why is none of this in the ceremony, why do we only go as far as the Cat's death?"

"Jongdae," Yixing says with a sigh. "You've been researching this subject for years, going to the ceremony since you were a child, and you haven't yet realized which deity your parents worship?"

Jongdae blinks once, not quite understanding where Yixing is coming from. His silence seems to be enough for Yixing, who continues in a slow and patient voice.

"We hold the ceremonies during the full moon. The Cat rules over the moon," Yixing tells him, and Jongdae suddenly begins to understands, mouth growing round. "This royal family has always worshipped the Cat, and so there is no need to continue past the Cat perishing."

"Does that mean," Jongdae starts, and stops, frowning and confused, the information a little much to take in. He's never paid as much attention to the Cat's side, always focused on the Wolf, which leads him to realize he's been worshipping the opposite of his family. "Does that mean Meili rests in the moon lands of the old books?"

"Meili is the moon lands," Yixing says, eyes sparkling a little and hand reaching out to pat Jongdae's knee. "The river from the tales exists you know, and it does signal the divide between the two kingdoms."

"I want to go," Jongdae says suddenly, sitting up fully, hair growing wild in the process. "I want to visit the sun lands."

"The cult of bandits that seeks to kill you are from a division of that kingdom," Yixing says with a sad smile. "You'd be in more danger there than you ever would be here. Their minds are twisted. They truly believe you are a direct descendant of their enemy deity."

"Do they worship the Wolf?" Jongdae asks, leaning forward to absorb information he's never heard until today, mind reeling from the thought that the very place he seeks is what is out to kill him and eat his heart.

"No. They actually don't," Yixing answers honestly, holding up the book in his hands. "The Alpha abandoned his people. They worship the Trickster."

"How could they worship someone so cruel?" Jongdae asks with a gasp, baffled by the idea.

"The Alpha Wolf abandoned them, and their roots lie in the Goddess Xiangyue." Yixing tells him. "It's all logic in their eyes. The Trickster stood by Xiangyue's side and her son abandoned her for the enemy. And upon being given another chance he failed then also."

"Wouldn't they have tried to kill him then? If they despise him as an Alpha so much?" Jongdae is curious, trying to figure out the motivation of this kingdom. "Why not get rid of him and replace him with a new Alpha."

"As much as they may try, one cannot kill the Alpha." Yixing explains. "At least that's what the legends say. I'll assume under the watch of the Trickster they decided that being cursed was enough punishment for the rest of his immortality."

Yixing brings them back on track after that, shoving a language workbook into Jongdae's arms and continuing on like they hadn't just had the most interesting conversation of his life, Japanese vocabulary swimming in his brain as he struggles to focus the rest of the day.

Jongdae falls into bed the second he's escorted back to his room, missing his weekly dinner with his parents. He doesn't even bother sneaking out that night, sleeping the entirety through, much to Sehun's delight.

He'll finish the book in the morning.

---

The dreams don’t bother Jongdae at first.

He's dreamt of stranger things before, of places he's never been to, cities and fields of pale grass, illuminated by a sun he's never been underneath. And he's dreamt of wolves before, having spent so much of his life reading about the sun people, the wolf shifters. And he's heard so much about them, about him.

It's a strange obsession, wanting to know everything about the Alpha wolf, and it's no surprise really when almond eyes appear in Jongdae's sleeping thoughts, white fur and red marked features littering dreams like memories.

The first few times the wolf appears in his dreams it's just glimpses; flashes of gold and white, of fierce glowing eyes dancing into mundane dreams about everyday happenings.

They grow more vivid, places Jongdae has never been to before, not even in dreams slipping into his mind like prophetic visions, the wolf prominent in each one, so much that it begins to feel like a real animal, like a creature that exists in Jongdae's waking world.

It leaves him tired, restless when they start to keep him up after appearing, many late nights spent against the cool wall, silk sheets pooling around his waist as he stares at the moon, waning but still bright at this time of month. He hasn't been listening to his lessons lately, doesn't know which part of the sky, which section of the chart that maps out human personality the moon is slipping into.

It's beautiful though, world silent through the pane of glass that separates Jongdae from its beauty that he's only heard sparingly. The only thing he hears nowadays are the bells, the swinging chimes from the ceremony, the ones that had drifted into his bedroom on Thursdays.

He starts to hear the bells in his dreams, loud ones, deep and penetrating that leave his head pounding, body heavy and confused. Yixing grows worried, hand on Jongdae's forehead as they sit in a corner of the library; a spot they always use for Yixing's tutoring sessions, closed in and away from where Jongdae's Mother likes to sit and read romance novels.

"Why haven't you been sleeping enough?" Yixing murmurs, mouth turned town just the slightest and eyes glowing with concern. "Am I pushing you too hard in your studies? I can lessen the amount of evening work."

"It's not that," Jongdae sighs, slumping back into a cushioned chair and pouting pathetically, unsure of whether he should tell Yixing the truth or not. (And it really isn't the studies; they've been helping distract him when the dreams are too much, when the image is too clear and the music in his mind overpowers his senses.)

"Do you want to talk about it?" Yixing asks gently, leaning forward to put the book he's been reading aloud from on the table, curling his fingers around Jongdae's teacup. He hands it to Jongdae, eyes silently instructing him to drink, to clear his mind and let his thoughts run free.

"I've just been having nightmares," Jongdae says, and it's not a complete lie, just a half-truth. The dreams he's been having don't feel like nightmares, don't scare him and cause his knees to shake; they're just too real, too vivid, too loud, bringing a feeling to his chest that causes the surface of his skin to tingle.

"They keep me up at night," Jongdae says truthfully, but he shakes his head and waves a hand at Yixing, teacup at his lips. "It's nothing though. I'm sure they'll pass soon."

"I hope so," Yixing says, gathering up the books and taking Jongdae's cup from him. "We'll end early tonight. Don't worry about evening work, just try and get some sleep."

"Yes sir," Jongdae says jokingly, saluting Yixing and getting up with a yawn, stretching the kinks from his muscles slowly.

He's not sure if he actually will get some sleep, but he really hopes the music in his ears and the images that burst into his imagination don't appear.

---

Jongdae's a cat in this dream.

World vivid and dark around him, moonlight causing his black fur to gleam as he stares down at his paws. He's confused, padding towards a source of too-bright light across a fast flowing river that reminds him of the one from the legends, deadly current ready to sweep him away at any moment.

It's day time on the opposite bank, bright with sunlight sparkling across the surface of the water. The contrast is almost too much, the difference between night and day blinding, causing Jongdae's headache to grow worse from the atmosphere.

He walks over to the very edge, careful not to accidentally step into the water, quivering with irrational fear as he gazes at his reflection, sees his own eyes, green and glittering and surrounded by dark fur.

Jongdae sits on his shaking paws, looking up and across the river towards the bells that continue to chime in his ears, a source identifiable, at least in this dream. There's a figure on the other side staring back at him, and when they make eye contact the bells cease to make noise, a deafening silence consuming Jongdae without warning.

It's the Wolf. It also sits on its paws, gaze intense and eyes shining like a crystal reflecting light. Its eyes meet Jongdae's for only a few seconds, but they're sharp, focused, piercing through his thin feline fur. He averts his gaze, glancing back up not a heartbeat later to find the wolf gone and in its place a tattered tarot-like card.

It fights the current as if possessed by magic, washing upon Jongdae's shore, soggy and battered but intact, image too clear even in the darkness that's fallen upon the whole land, no longer daylight on the other side. A glowing orb is on the card, a drawing of the sun that sits in place in the ancient skies, face of the sun Goddess visible through the middle. There are words written underneath the photo, faded but readable, a language Jongdae doesn't recognize.

De Sol.

The card whispers to him in a voice that flows like caramel, familiar for reasons Jongdae cannot figure out, and it jolts him awake, chest heaving and eyes blinking rapidly, drenched in a cold sweat. He feels as if he's had a nightmare, placing a hand over his heavy beating heart and tossing his head to the side, breathing in shallowly as he attempts to calm down.

The bells are gone, sweet singing chimes no longer overwhelming his senses, but Jongdae still feels something off, sitting up in the silence of his stuffy room and chewing on his lip in clear distress.

He tears his blankets off the bed, and then his sheets, intent on finding something, anything. Jongdae doesn't know what he's looking for, desperation closing in on his lungs and on his mind as he tears the soft case off his pillow, pausing in shock when a card falls from the material and lands in front of him on the mattress.

It's tattered and damp as if it had just been in water, but unlike the card from his dream it's a navy blue, adorned with the image of a crescent moon. Jongdae reads the card out loud to himself, shivering with unknown fear when the air that whistles underneath his bedroom door seems to speak quietly to him, gentle caramel words spoken through a hushed voice.

La Luna.
--

Lu Han only meets the Trickster once after he's cursed, finds him calmly walking the fields of the sun lands, unconcerned and humming. He lunges for the Trickster's throat with a loud snarl, only to land on nothing, paws scuffling at grass and eyes wide with anger.

The Trickster laughs from a few feet away, hands at his sides and mouth quirked into a playful grin. His eyes glinting, dark hair messy as he shakes it away from his face.

"I would ask you how life is as the Alpha," he Trickster says, voice almost sultry as he walks closer to Lu Han and places a gentle hand on his fur. "But it looks like you can't answer me right now."

Lu Han growls, ready to pounce again, ready to take the life of the Trickster and get his own back, but the second he turns towards him, he's alone in the field, sunlight searing and paws in pain.

Lu Han walks back to the palace slowly, curling up alone and upset, waiting for night to fall so he can walk as a man if he chooses, ready for his nightly trek to the moon lands to check on Chen -- no, Jongdae -- and see how he's doing.

It's nerve-racking knowing that the Trickster around, that he's visiting Lu Han for no apparent reason, and he grows fearful, nervous, tail curling around his back legs, nose twitching with anticipation.

He still needs to wait one full week to sneak into the castle, to steal Jongdae away and get his Chen back, but now Lu Han frets, thinks about the Trickster and about the bandits.

There's a chance they may get to Jongdae before he does.
--

Jongdae takes the card with him to his next lesson, placing it in front of Yixing and looking at him quizzically, quietly. Yixing understands Jongdae's unspoken words, picking up the card and reading the word, muttering it out loud.

"What does that word mean?" Jongdae asks, sitting in his usual place across the rounded table and ignoring the math book in front of him. "Do you know the language?"

"Yes I do," Yixing says, eyeing Jongdae curiously, turning the card over in his hands and running a finger along the frayed edge. "Where did you get this?"

"I-- well-- I don't know how to explain this?" Jongdae says, stumbling over his words a little. "It appeared in my pillowcase. After a dream."

"That's not as strange as it sounds," Yixing murmurs, staring at the card as if it might burn him. "It could have been put there through magic."

"What kind of magic?" Jongdae asks, blinking in confusion and moving close to Yixing in curiosity, teeth sinking into his lower lip. "What does it say?"

"It says 'The Moon'," Yixing explains, handing the card back to Jongdae and sighing. "It's a specific card though, for a specific type of moon. What was your dream?"

"I was a cat," Jongdae says slowly, deciding to just tell Yixing and to leave nothing out. "There was a river and it was night on one side and day on the other. And there was a wolf, but he disappeared and in the dream there was a card like this but it said 'De Sol'"

"And when you woke up this card was in your pillowcase?" Yixing asks, raising an eyebrow and looking completely serious, the room feeling stuffy under the sudden mood change.

"Yes, basically."

"There are two kinds of magic that could put this here," Yixing mutters, looking at Jongdae carefully and glancing down at the card. "Either very old powerful magic, or a trickster's curse. This card in particular, it's not just a regular moon card, it's the tarot card of the Cat."

"The Cat?" Jongdae echoes, before sitting up straight, back rigid and fingers digging into his knees as he leans forward. "As in, the Cat?"

Yixing nods, leaning back in his own chair, pushing the card aside for Jongdae's math book. "I'll assume the other card was the card of The Wolf," he says, fixing Jongdae with a look. "I'll look into this. Trace the castle for magic signatures. It could be a trick, to try and get you to the bandits. For now, you have equations to do."

Jongdae grumbles, upset at being dismissed like this, numbers swimming before his eyes as he struggles to concentrate through his lessons, failing and falling backwards with an angry noise, eyes glaring as they stare at a very calm Yixing.

“Stay in your room tonight,” Yixing instructs him as they pack up for the evening, concern finally evident on his features. “If it’s a trickster’s magic I don’t want you wandering the castle when you could be in danger.”

“And if I’m in danger even in my room?” Jongdae asks, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.

“I’ll tell Sehun and Minseok to actually guard you instead of sleeping or making out or whatever they do late at night,” Yixing says, eyes smiling but voice deadly serious. "Just be careful tonight."

Jongdae sighs, frustrated but compliant, unable to disobey a direct order from Yixing. He's the only person really, that can get Jongdae to actually listen, and so he begrudgingly stays in his room that evening.

He reads the newest book he has, the one with the glow and the name on the cover, written in characters he doesn't understand, but that Yixing has told him is the name of the Wolf. But it's a dead language, and beyond it being a name, Yixing knows nothing else, though thankfully the rest of the book is in Melreki.

It's the most interesting one he's read, and he rereads the passages, mouth forming around the words.

Jongdae goes to sleep thinking of the Wolf and wondering where the Cat is now, if he's been reincarnated to combine day and night.

---

The window is open.

Jongdae doesn't notice it at first, too wrapped up in his post-sleep state, eyes weary and thoughts struggling to catch up, to become the present. His dream had confused him, a sleepy tale of ambience, of a quiet riverside, of the sun sparkling over his paws.

He'd been a cat in the dream again -- The cat -- and he'd been lighton his feet, eyes able to take in more than he could ever as a human, dream showing him more than he'd ever seen as a human.

Jongdae has never had his window open overnight, but it doesn't strike him as strange. There's an absence of thought right now, drowned out by the sounds of water running over rocks in the distance, of owls hooting in the night air. He listens for the heartbeat of the night, hears the soft droplets of water that touch the roof, but never the ground.

That also doesn't strike Jongdae as strange at first either. He sits, listens, eyes trained on the sky, a warmth enveloping him. Pain and fear are stripped from his body, the silk of sheets softer, cooler, safer in this moment.

He rises to his feet eventually, steps not making a sound as he goes towards the window, reaches a hand out into the night air to catch a raindrop, but it never comes. He can hear it, can feel the humidity of a storm, but the rain never falls.

It's the sound of chimes that causes Jongdae worry. Hollow bells, as if underneath the river, muffled by the sound of running water, by the steadily growing sound of rain that never touches the ground, never touches his pale fingers.

The chimes scare him, and it's then that Jongdae backs away from the window, but doesn’t close it, unsure of how right now, brain not quite catching up to logic. He thinks of the thieves. The thieves of hearts, of souls, waiting for the Prince, for him to come of age, wanting but not touching, not yet.

It arrives with the chimes, the bells that grow louder and louder, scattered thoughts struggling to break through the haze of sound that seems to pound against his very skull.

It's just before dawn now, the darkest hour of the night, and Jongdae is back on his bed, eyes never leaving the window, thoughts still absent but fear residing right within his belly. The rain still sounds, roaring, too loud, but still not hitting the ground, as if suspended by some sort of spell, some sort of magic.

Jongdae knows it's possible, has watched Yixing and Baekhyun control the very air around them, has watched them warp heat and leaves, frigid ice. He brings the blankets around him, closer until he's in a little cocoon, eyes still on the window.

There are eyes at the window. Gleaming, red, flashing in the shadows. The chimes are singing, as if overjoyed, dancing through Jongdae's entire body. He doesn't understand, eyes wide, connecting with the red ones.

He's old enough now, just perfect, the age that his heart gains its own immortality, or so Yixing had whispered, secret and illegal into his ear. Had warned him, fingers digging into his shoulders as the security is heightened, as his parents disappear from the castle.

Though Jongdae doesn't know it, outside a single raindrop hits the ground, a signal of sorts, but he's too busy staring, watching the red eyes that glitter through the dark outside the window, a flash of white fur blurring his vision.

The chimes are like a lullaby now, haunting, echoing, whispering promises into his ears. Jongdae tilts his head, a cat-like gesture of curiosity, of confusion, unsure of whether to be afraid, or whether to let a strange sense of safety, warmth, familiarity run through his veins and flutter across his skin.

The silks of his bed seem to warm up now, yet he still doesn't move, trapped in some sort of waiting game, watching, waiting. There seems to be no rush, just their eyes meeting in the shadows, a faint smell of fruit in the air, a sense of danger that Jongdae can't place, can't get his scattered mind to consume.

The owls have stopped hooting. The rain is pelting, lightning taking up the window, as if time had suddenly learned to move again, remembered that the rain should be touching the ground.

The eyes move, a flash of glowing light, another flash of white fur, coming through the window and landing on the wooden floor, the sound of nails -- claws -- clicking against the boards.

A wolf, delicate and yet powerful, sitting in the middle of his room and staring at him, ruby eyes never leaving his. Jongdae can't look away, can't move, heart pounding and skin crawling, silk blankets feeling harsh in his sudden spike of fear. It’s a familiar wolf, same as the one in Jongdae’s books, as the one dangling beside his other two charms, a cat and a swirling circle.

He refuses to believe it’s the Wolf however, instincts telling him that’s it’s a disguise much like Baekhyun’s magic, a bandit hidden under a familiar animal mask to trick him, taunt him, bring him closer.

Before Jongdae can move, crawl back further and press himself against the wall, tongue refusing to scream for help, there's another flash of light, this one from inside and the wolf is suddenly a man.

It's more delicate as a human, red eyes still gleaming, skin seeming to be as white as the fur that covered its body. Dressed in silk as rich as the ones covering Jongdae, hair a golden blonde.

They stay like this, one standing, one shaking in his bed, for a while, until Jongdae braves an inch forward, resigns himself to a fate he's been told would one day happen, fear causing his breath to stutter.

"Are you here to steal my heart?" he asks, breathing the words out, rather than saying them, arms crossing over his each and around him in a feeble attempt at protecting his chest.

“I’m not here to steal your heart,” the man -- boy -- says, and the voice is familiar, a soft, lilting accent that flows like caramel. Jongdae is sure he’s heard it before, arms tighter around his body. “At least not in the way you think.”

"What do you mean by that," Jongdae says, raising his eyebrows in shock, perhaps even more fearful, more lost. His senses feel slowed, thoughts a step behind his body as they attempt to remember something, something Jongdae isn't sure of. He's sluggish, glancing towards the door and wondering how quickly Minseok would respond if he screamed for help.

The hand across his chest unconsciously moves, fingers curling around his charm necklace, holding onto his first pendant, the crystal wolf. The boy's eyes dart down to his chest, following the movement with curiosity, eyes growing slightly larger when they fall on the charms themselves.

Jongdae can't tell how old this boy is, but he looks young, maybe younger than Jongdae, youthful features lit up from the light of the moon as he glances behind him at the open window, into the storm. He turns back to Jongdae just as quickly as he glances back, intensity of his gaze not matching the softness of his features, delicate mouth and perfectly straight nose complimenting a nearly perfect jawline.

If Jongdae wasn't in some horrible immediate danger he might be smitten by this boy, eyes trailing up and down his body, landing on the blonde hair he shakes out of his eyes. Now's probably not the time for inappropriate thoughts, but at least Jongdae can resign himself to death at the hands of someone even more attractive than Yixing.

He debates telling this boy that, but suddenly he's right in front of Jongdae, knees touching the bed and body leaning forward, too close with a hand reaching for his chest. Jongdae tries to shriek but it only comes out as a small scared noise as he scrambles back towards the wall.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the boy says, and he crawls onto the bed and over to Jongdae, sitting cross-legged in front of him. "I just want to see your necklace."

"You were going to rip my heart out of my chest," Jongdae hisses, and he looks at the door again, debates screaming again, turns back to the boy with his hands back over his heart.

"I have no use for immortality," the boy tells him, and Jongdae swears he hears laughter in his voice, teasing. "I've already got that. I told you, I'm not here for your heart."

"Then what are you here for?" Jongdae tries bravely, hands never leaving his chest and eyes glaring now. He's un-resigned himself to death and has now decided to fight, trying to remember the few lessons in self-defense he's suffered through at the hands of Minseok.

"You have my crystal around your neck," the boy says quietly, fingers curling around the chain. He doesn't use any magic, doesn't reach inside Jongdae’s skin to steal his heart, and Jongdae tenses, breathing ragged from nerves. "Where did you get this chain?"

"My tutor got it for me," Jongdae answers, surprised at his own willingness to tell. "He goes into town and brings me gifts."

"You cannot get this necklace in any town gift shop," the boy says icily, fingers closing around the colourful swirl charm, ripping it off from the chain with sudden force. Jongdae presses himself up against the wall as much as he can, eyes wide and mouth open. "And the symbol of the trickster does not belong."

"The symbol of--" Jongdae starts, but his voice cuts itself off, anxiety spiking as he feels the strange calm of the storm wane away and the panic attacking him from all sides.

"This," the boy says, holding up the charm before tossing it roughly off the side as if it burns his skin. His fingers are still curled around the chain, but he smooths it out against Jongdae's chest, an involuntary shiver making its way through him when cold fingers touch skin.

"Who are you?" Jongdae asks, and he doesn't know why he hasn't run yet, doesn't know why his calls for help stay caught in his throat. Perhaps it's that the aura of danger, of power he feels from this person doesn't seem to be directed at him, and perhaps it's that feel, that absence of anything he'd felt when the wolf had jumped through the window, the wolf that looks exactly like the one from his books, from the ceremony.

"My name is Lu Han," the boy says, and he does a kind of awkward bow, torso bending but body still on Jongdae's bed. "And I am the Alpha Wolf."

"I don't believe you," Jongdae blurts out, blinking his disbelief away.

"I came in here as a wolf," Lu Han points out, sitting back and looking quizzically at Jongdae, momentary intenseness replaced with confusion. "What else could I be?"

"A shapeshifter?" Jongdae tries, frowning as doubts fill his mind. "Joonmyun can turn into small animals. You might have that magic."




"Have you never read a book on shapeshifting magic?" Lu Han asks, and now instead of sounding confused he sounds slightly offended. "There's only one being that can shapeshift into a white wolf, and only one being that has the red markings."

Jongdae's about to answer -- with what he doesn't know -- when the door slams open and Minseok is in the doorway, eyes narrowed and sword out of it's sheath. Jongdae sucks in a breath, ready to open his mouth and scream that Lu Han is dangerous, but he's nowhere to be seen, room empty.

"Jongdae, I heard voices," Minseok says, lowering his sword but still looking suspicious, gaze sweeping around the entirety of the room. "Were you talking to someone?"

"I was talking to myself." Jongdae says slowly, breathing heavily and hoping that Minseok doesn't notice the still open window. He doesn't know what drives him to keep Lu Han a secret, but he does, leaving it at that, sigh of relief heavy when Minseok raises an eyebrow but believes him, exiting the room and slamming the door behind him.

Jongdae stays completely still, too nervous to move, to glance around. He doesn't know where Lu Han is, and he doesn't know if he's still in danger, having sealed his fate with a lie, death approaching him swiftly in his stupidity.

He hears a scuffle from somewhere, claws scraping against boards before Lu Han appears from under his bed, shaking the dust from his fur before hopping up. He nearly lands in Jongdae's lap, Jongdae holding in his shriek and scrambling away, twitching with discomfort when a snow-coloured paw holds his hand in place.

Jongdae barely has time to properly react before the wolf is suddenly a boy again, nestling himself into Jongdae's blankets with a contented hum and grinning at him with a feral kind of smile. It reminds Jongdae of Baekhyun when he's up to something, but unlike Baekhyun, it makes him nervous, and he shifts where he's sitting, ready to get up and bolt any second.

"You don't have your memories but you have the natural instinct to trust me," Lu Han says, and his smile grows fond rather than feral. "You're still my kitten even when you aren't."

He doesn't elaborate, leaping up from the sheets suddenly to look towards the window, eyes narrowing at the subtle amount of light that begins to pour in through the window. Lu Han turns back to Jongdae with a bow, eyes flashing in the greyness of early morning.

"It's nearly daylight," Lu Han says, voice sad and mouth in a pout as if he's not taking himself very seriously. "Soon I'll become a wolf for the waking hours and we won't be able to communicate. See you tonight, kitten."

Lu Han crawls out through the window ungracefully, hovering outside of it and closing it with a wave of his hand, eyes meeting Jongdae's once more through the glass, intensity from earlier back, before disappearing to leave him alone with his confusion, his fear, his thoughts.

---

Jongdae doesn't tell anyone about Lu Han.

He's not even sure how to go about it, how to explain that a wolf jumped through his window and stopped the rain, that he claimed to be The Wolf, the Alpha Sun God. That he hadn't stolen Jongdae's heart and had called him kitten; told him he was his kitten, the Cat of the night.

Jongdae's not sure what to think. He asks Yixing and finds out that yes, only the Alpha Wolf can shape shift into a white wolf with red markings. He thinks over past life events, his obsession with the sun lands and with the Wolf, the horrible feeling he gets during the ceremony and around water.

He spends most of his lessons staring at his charm necklace, at the place where the rainbow swirl used to be and also remembers Lu Han's words.

You cannot get this necklace in any town gift shop.

Was he lying? Or was he being honest? Lu Han had seemed to recognize the symbols, and the necklace, and his behaviour had been peculiar if not believable, seemed intent on really not hurting Jongdae.

He's manipulating you, a voice whispers to Jongdae as he chews on a pencil and ignores Yixing's droning about something or other. (He's not even sure what subject they're doing today.)

Jongdae tries not to think about it throughout the day, tries to open his mouth and tell someone, but something stops him every time, that same little bit of himself that makes the ceremonies unbearable, makes his hands circle around the black cat charm on his necklace.

This action is what causes Yixing to glance at the necklace, words stopping and mouth frowning.

"There's a charm missing," Yixing says, reaching out to take hold of the necklace. He looks alarmed and Jongdae can't help but jerk away. Something in the way Yixing's fingers curl around the chain feels different, and Jongdae can't figure out his own reaction.

"Oh," Jongdae exclaims in what he hopes is a convincing voice. (It probably is, years of sneaking around gives one amazing acting skills.) "I didn't even realize. It must have come off in my sleep."

"You wear it to sleep?" Yixing asks, a small smile taking over his features, fond but surprised.

"Well, yes," Jongdae admits, cheeks flushing under Yixing's gaze. "It feels important to me. It is important to me."

"I'm glad," Yixing says softly, before looking back down at his book to continue where he left, adding, "Find that other charm though. They aren't cheap."

"Wait, before we start," Jongdae says, good-natured grin on his face and eyes alight with curiosity. "Where do you get these charms? They don't seem like something you'd find at a regular gift shop."

"You can't," Yixing says with a shrug. "I had to pull a few strings to get this particular set. Only two exist in the world."

"And where is the other one?" Jongdae asks, mouth falling open, thinking of Lu Han's surprise at seeing the chain around his neck.

"According to the religious merchant I got it from, the rumours are that the Wolf himself has the other set, though his lacks the symbols of the Trickster and the Scholar." Yixing explains. "Though both sets were made by the church of the moon and for the royal family. I think that's why I was allowed to buy them."

"Who is the Scholar?" Jongdae mutters, having never heard of this character before, or seen the charm for that matter.

"It's the next charm I was going to give you," Yixing says excitedly, and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a number of charms. "I was going to wait until your birthday to give you the rest but since you seem so interested."

Jongdae holds the three charms in the palm of his hand, one he recognizes and two he doesn't, eyes settling on the one he does recognize. It's another wolf, but bigger, with the same red markings as the other one.

"Xiangyue?" Jongdae asks, holding up the wolf charm and watching it glint in the light. "I don't know the other two though."

"It is Xiangyue." Yixing says with a smile, before directing his attention to the other two. "The unicorn head, that's the Scholar, and the scythe is the Dark Rider."

"Who are they?" Jongdae inquires, though hesitant. The Dark Rider symbol in particular gives him an uncomfortable feel, ignites that nervousness in his stomach; he doesn't really want to put it on, doesn't want to clip it onto his body and sleep with it around his neck.

"They're from a book not found in Meili," Yixing explains, chewing on his nails while he speaks, an old habit he's had as long as Jongdae can remember. "The Scholar is a sorcerer from Karphor -- that's the capital city of the sun lands -- and he's well known for being multilingual and powerful."

"What's his place in the story?" Jongdae leans forward, placing the charms on the table in between them, staring at the charm. "And why is his charm a unicorn?"

"He's the Trickster's lover," Yixing says, wrinkling his nose slightly and laughing. "It's said that he despises the Wolf the most as they were once lovers and childhood friends. The Scholar taught the Wolf everything he knows about the world in the Goddesses absence."


"They were lovers?" Jongdae's voice is hushed, eyes widening at this new information. "Why haven't you told me this before?"

"We hadn't gotten there yet," Yixing states, not sounding the least bit sorry. "I was going to give you the second book of the one I brought to you last full moon once you'd finished. Give you time to learn more about the heritage of this world without overwhelming yourself."

"And what makes you think I would overwhelm myself?" Jongdae asks with a kind of disbelieving chuckle, though he knows Yixing is right; the strange emotion history invokes inside him does get overwhelming, burying his senses in grief.

"The Wolf abandoned the Scholar for his affair with the Cat." Yixing continues, ignoring Jongdae's sarcastic question to tell his story. "Which led to the Scholar falling under the spell of the Trickster. They are said to lie in wait with the Dark Rider, intent on leading the bandits in the hunt for the reincarnated Cat's heart."


"The - the what?" Jongdae yelps, eyes going wide and fingers freezing their regular stroking of his pendant charms, image of Lu Han flashing through his mind, his words calling Jongdae a kitten -- his kitten -- floating through amongst the images. "Is that what they think I am?"

Yixing nods slowly, lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed in a kind of frustration.

"I'm technically not supposed to have told you that," Yixing sighs, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the sleeves of his tutor's robes. "Your parents have ordered most of this to be withheld from you as a secret. You're not supposed to know anything further than the ceremony."

"And yet you risk so much just to feed my greed for knowing--" Jongdae says quietly, guilt seeping into his consciousness, lips pouting.

"It's fine," Yixing says, and he shrugs again, looking unaffected. "You deserve to know all of this. Your parents didn't lock you away under guard because they were worried about you being a magical being. They locked you away under guard because your very presence sparked the start of a religious war."

"But I'm not anything," Jongdae mutters sadly, slumping back into the cushions to make himself as small as possible, suddenly upset by their lesson and by Yixing's words. He thinks of Lu Han and how he'd been so sure, spoke to Jongdae as if it were a fact and not a speculation. "Why does everyone think I'm this horrible thing. How could I start a war when I was just a baby?"

"This is why I wanted to tell you everything slowly," Yixing says with a sad smile, patting Jongdae's thigh consolingly. "Do you want me to stop?"

"No," Jongdae says heavily, shaking his head and straightening his posture. "I want to know. Who is the Dark Rider?"

"You've met the Dark Rider." Yixing says darkly, tongue sliding across his teeth in something akin to disgust. "Or at least the bandit masquerading as the dark rider of legend."

"What?" Jongdae asks, and he's confused now. He's never met anyone terrifying who wears a black cloak and rides a horse. But then he remembers being young, watching from his window with wide eyes as a banished Yifan had rode from the castle in a storm, dark hood obscuring his face and riding fast on horseback. "Yifan?"

"Yes," Yixing says, nodding and sighing. (He's doing a lot of that.) "He's human, unlike the others, driven mad by greed and the Trickster and Scholar's right hand man. He wields knives, daggers, scythes and sometimes magic, though not his own."

"I'm wondering," Jongdae asks, hesitating. He doesn't know how to word this question without mentioning Lu Han himself. "The Wolf shapeshifts right? And he can do so freely past sundown, but can anyone else imitate his shape? Like can a shape shifter learn to disguise themselves as the Wolf with red markings and such."

Yixing shakes his head and gathers up their books, clearly giving up on today's lesson. "The only one with the power to shift into that Wolf is the Alpha. Shapeshifters have been trying for centuries, but it's impossible,” Yixing says, and he sounds like he's telling the truth. Jongdae believes he's telling the truth. "The closest they've come to is a white wolf, but no one's been able to replicate the red markings."

Yixing picks up the charms from the table, fastening them in place on the necklace and grinning at his handiwork. He smooths the chain down and takes Jongdae's hand in his own, gentle, worried eyes meeting Jongdae's own.

"Don't let this get to you though. The Wolf may have existed at one point, but he certainly does not now. There's no evidence of even his famous palace in the sun lands anymore," Yixing assures him. "And these bandits aren't century old religious symbols either. They're cult leaders who believe too much in what they worship."

"My parents believe too much in what they worship," Jongdae murmurs. Yixing doesn't answer, but the sad glint in his eyes tells Jongdae that he too, believes this. It's with a whoosh of breath that Jongdae stands up, eyeing the clock and realizing that it's far past sundown, far past the time he usually crawls into his bed for a few hours sleep before going to the library.

He says his goodbyes to Yixing and thanks him for being honest, though their long hug tells everything unspoken, Jongdae's thank you's that go far beyond just today. Jongdae feels heavy, heavier than one who'd just learned all of these things because not only has he ruined his country just by being born, Yixing's words confirm everything about Lu Han, about the wolf that had mysteriously appeared through his window last night.

Perhaps Yixing doesn't believe enough about the religion in which they dedicate their lives.

--

There's a wolf sleeping on Jongdae's bed. Chest rising and falling, nose buried in Jongdae's pillow and paws tucked neatly under it's body. It would be kind of cute if Jongdae wasn't currently pressed up against his door with shaking limbs and wide eyes, startled by the sight of the animal curled up snoring and content in his blankets.

Jongdae debates walking right back out and to the library, but Sehun is outside tonight and he'd told Jongdae that he's not allowed to sneak out or he will be reprimanded for once. He tiptoes forward, leaning over his bed and poking the sleeping animal once, gently. The wolf doesn't wake, just stirs a little, whining softly in it's sleep like a puppy, paw settling over its face.

Jongdae blinks, poking it with a little more force, shaking it's shoulders lightly. It wakes up now with a snarl, eyes snapping open and head whipping around, claws out and ready for the kill. Jongdae leaps backwards, heart hammering in his chest and scream on his tongue, but the wolf calms upon seeing him, blinking in a very human-like way before a burst of light reveals Lu Han, the boy from the night before.

"You scared me," Lu Han says, voice lacking the soft finesse it had before, husky and quiet from sleep. "I thought you were one of those guards."

"Uh no." Jongdae says, keeping his composure but staying where he is backed against the wall. "You were going to tear my throat out."

"Sorry.," Lu Han says, coughing into his elbow and shaking his head, messy hair flying everywhere. "I thought I'd stay here tonight. You took so long and your bed is so comfortable, I might as well go back to sleep."

"You're not--" Jongdae starts, pausing and making a face. He needs to stand up for himself. "I fact-checked today."

"Did you now?" Lu Han asks, but it sounds like he's cooing at Jongdae, huskiness still in his voice but flowing sultry tone returning. "Did you tell everyone about the big bad wolf in your room?"

"No actually, I didn't," Jongdae admits, licking his lips nervously and pushing himself off the wall and into the middle of the room, arms crossing over his chest. "Everything - everything you said turned out to be true."

"Of course it did," Lu Han laughs, suddenly right in front of Jongdae, so close that he can count the number of long eyelashes fluttering atop sparkling eyes. "I told you. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm trying to help you."

"Help me?" Jongdae asks, awkwardly leaning away from Lu Han's proximity, ignoring the swooping feeling in his stomach. His question is ignored in favour of Lu Han glancing down and noticing the new charms on Jongdae's chain, emitting a wolf-like growl before his fingers curl around the pendant of the Scholar ripping it off with such force Jongdae is sure it will never be able to attach again.

Lu Han pauses over the Goddess, tugging lightly as if to pull it off, before leaving it in favour of getting rid of the Dark Rider. He then smiles, smoothing it down once more and looking Jongdae right in the eye.

"Those are the only three charms that belong on this necklace."

"Why are you so insistent about this," Jongdae asks, and he ignores the way his breath hitches when Lu Han's grabs his wrist, dragging him back towards his bed and pushing him onto it. Jongdae lands ungracefully in a half-sitting half-lying down position, righting himself and frowning at Lu Han.

"There are two sets of these charm necklaces," Lu Han says.. "Those three charms aren't supposed to be on either of them. They were crafted by the cult that wants your heart."

"Yixing told me the charms were made by the church of the moon though," Jongdae says, curious but confused.

"Yixing is a filthy fucking liar," Lu Han spits out, eyes gleaming with hatred. Jongdae flinches, startled by the sudden outburst of intensity. "One necklace was made by the church of the moon, yes, and the other by the church of the sun. Each necklace with three charms. The extras were forged by the Scholar and the Trickster."

"I don't understand," Jongdae says, rocking back and forth on the bed. He's less afraid of Lu Han now, sure now that he isn't going to have his heart ripped out by him. He doesn't yet trust him, doesn't believe that he's the Alpha though.

"They're fabricated. They represent a religion and a view that shouldn't exist." Lu Han explains, and he sits down on the bed across from Jongdae, reaching into his shirt and pulling out a chain. "This is the chain from the church of the sun. It only has three charms, like it's supposed to."

The chain Lu Han places in Jongdae's hand is heavier than his own, rusted and old, but the charms are there; exactly the same as the one's Yixing had given him: two crystal wolves and a crystal cat.

"Yixing was right in giving the necklace to you," Lu Han says in a low voice as he takes the necklace back, tucking it into his shirt pocket and fixing Jongdae with a look he can't read. "He was not right in trying to corrupt you with the idea that those characters belong."

"I-- I didn't really want to put them around my neck." Jongdae says honestly, rubbing the spot where the Dark Rider had felt like it was burning his neck. "But Yixing insisted that all characters in literature, good or bad, deserve their spot in remembrance."

Lu Han snorts, eyes rolling and hands clenching into fists. He doesn't speak for a while, staring out Jongdae's window and at the moon, seemingly lost in thought. Jongdae isn't sure what to do, fidgeting and moving around, eyes on Lu Han, on his door, on the window where Lu Han is looking, and finally on his own hands, nervous energy consuming him.

Lu Han jolts away from the window, coming out of his daze, eyes fixed on Jongdae for much longer than is comfortable before he grins mischievously.

"I was seriously about that sleeping thing," Lu Han says and his voice does sound completely serious, devoid of any teasing or sultry tones. He leans forward with his hands splayed on the sheets and winks at Jongdae, who leans back out of his way. "Shall I use the bed?"

"You can turn into a wolf right?" Jongdae says, refusing to acknowledge the tips of his ears burning red as his eyes narrows. "You can be comfortable at the foot of the bed or on the floor."

"You're right," Lu Han sighs, before exploding into light and reappearing as a wolf, rolling on to his back and grinning up at Jongdae, a face that looks much like his human one does; feral and kind of intimidating despite its cute nature.

Lu Han does as he's told though, jumping from the bed to the floor, turning three times like an actual dog before settling down, pouting eyes staring up at Jongdae. Jongdae tuts, crawling to the head of the bed and getting under the covers.

He can't sleep. Not with the knowledge that a strange creature is curled up and asleep at the foot of his bed, a possibly dangerous person that could be anything really, could be the Wolf like he says, could be an extremely powerful shape shifter, one that's mastered the art of disguise.

Jongdae thrashes around, frustrated with his fear, with the fact that he's not allowed to sneak out tonight. And normally that wouldn't deter him, normally he would just not listen to Sehun, but tonight there's someone sleeping in his room, danger possibly lurking everywhere with the bandits preparing for his birthday.

The ceremony is going to go on as normal, Yixing had said. His parents don't want to show any fear, don't want to squirrel their baby boy away even though they've been doing so his entire life.

It's only now, lying in the dark and listening to the sounds around him -- Lu Han snoring softly from the floor, an owl hooting from somewhere outside the open window, the steady rush of the nearby stream -- that Jongdae realizes he's stopped hearing the bells.

He finds himself wondering if Lu Han knows anything about them, if they're just a figment of his overactive imagination, but they can't be, not with all the other strange things occurring. Jongdae hesitates, crawling to the edge of his bed and leaning over it, shaking Lu Han roughly to wake him up, jumping back on instinct in case he decides Jongdae is a threat and tries to pounce.

Lu Han doesn't pounce, just lifts his head from his paws and blinks sleepily, staring up at Jongdae in what he swears is confusion, momentarily amazed at the amount of realistic facial expressions Lu Han can make as a wolf.

"I need to ask you something," Jongdae whispers, hands gripping the edges of the bed like a child before he hops back just a second too late, ending up with a lap full of suddenly-human Lu Han. Jongdae just blinks at him, glaring and shoving Lu Han off his lap until he's sprawling across the blankets.

"Sorry about that," Lu Han grins. "I usually aim better with my transformations. What did you need?"

"If you know so much," Jongdae asks, eyes skeptical. "Tell me what the bells are."

"The ones you hear in your head?" Lu Han hums, and his smile is gentle. "They're a part of being eternally bound. They chime when I'm nearby, but not when I'm with you."

“You've been near me for over a month?" Jongdae bursts out, looking scandalized. "The first nights I heard them, last month’s ceremony. Were you at the ceremony?"

"No I wasn't," Lu Han says rolling his eyes. "I was going to visit you that night but I felt a dark presence in the gardens and fled."

"A dark presence?"

"There's a dangerous one, like that of the Trickster when I was near the castle." Lu Han says, and his eyes are dark, ruby red and angry. "You're often with it. There's someone you can't trust around here."

"I trust everyone though," Jongdae insists, sounding offended and taken aback. "It's not like when I was a kid and my old tutor tried to kill me."

"And yet you walked in here wearing that tutor’s charm around your neck." Lu Han says scathingly, and his tone worries Jongdae, makes him shy back slightly. It scares him in that Lu Han’s anger makes him want to submit, makes him want to roll over and apologize like he's a canine himself.

"I'm going back to sleep now," Lu Han announces, sounding normal again, flirting aura back. "I'd cuddle you but you probably wouldn't let me. Rest well kitten."

Lu Han disappears, once again a wolf at the foot of the bed, except this time he doesn't move to the floor, curling up right on top of Jongdae’s feet.

Jongdae ignores him, attempting to go back asleep, failing miserably. It's late now, or more accurately, early, and Jongdae doesn't doubt that in a few hours the sun will start to rise, knock on his door telling him it's rehearsal day.

Jongdae thrashes, cold one minute and too hot the next, legs kicking out so much he eventually wakes up Lu Han, who snarls softly in the dark, large red eyes catching Jongdae’s own in the moonlight.

"Sorry," Jongdae mutters, pulling the blankets up to his chin and sulking, sitting up against the wall. It's quiet now, and only the creek can be heard, splashing of waves carrying up into Jongdae’s room like music.

He's about to get up to go under his bed, resigning himself to a night of no sleep, when his legs suddenly feel a lot heavier, weight settling on his thighs and stomach.

Lu Han has moved and rolled over, on his back in Jongdae's lap and staring at him upside down, paws waving ridiculously in the air, nose pressing insistently into Jongdae's hand.

"What? Do you want me to pet you?" Jongdae scoffs, pushing the wet nose away and trying to move from underneath the heaviness of having a wolf in his fucking lap.

Lu Han makes a noise more akin to a small dog than a wolf, nuzzling into Jongdae’s hand again. He's being taken advantage of, can't resist a giant cute animal literally begging for his attention, and so Jongdae relents. Nervously relents.

He rests his hand in Lu Han’s fur, not really sure what to do next, but Lu Han whines softly, pushing up into his hand. Jongdae vies for scratching behind his ears, a fail-safe way to make any animal happy. Well, cats that is, Jongdae's never been near a dog before, let alone touched one. And Lu Han’s a wolf, not a dog.

Lu Han seems to enjoy it though, relaxing and rolling onto his back further, tongue sticking out between his teeth. He's not as scary like this, not as threatening and cryptic and nerve-wracking.

Jongdae finds himself grinning, eventually lying down when he finally feels himself growing tired, stroking Lu Han’s fur and resisting the urge to reach out and wrap his arms around the wolf.

Lu Han is asleep again, pillowed into Jongdae like a happy house pet, and it doesn't take Jongdae much longer to fall asleep himself, using Lu Han’s side as a pillow.

--

A knock on the door startles Jongdae awake and into a panic, pushing Lu Han roughly off the bed (when had he burrowed himself in under him?) and leaping to his feet.

"Are you okay?" Minseok asks, eyebrow raised and a worried frown tugging at his lips. "I heard a loud noise."

"You startled me and I tripped getting out of bed," Jongdae says sheepishly, pouting and running a hand through his hair. Minseok buys it, snorting and leaning against the doorframe.

"You have lessons all day and then rehearsal," Minseok informs him. "Yixing is some kind of panic mode over your birthday so don't piss him off today."

"Yes sir!" Jongdae quips sarcastically, saluting him and turning on his heel to slam the door shut. He finds Lu Han crouching on the floor, ears flat on his head and eyes wild.

"That was close," Jongdae mutters to Lu Han, sitting down beside him and ruffling his fur, earning himself a low growl. "You can't shape shift right now can you? The sun’s up."

He earns another growl, laughing and ruffling Lu Han’s fur again. Jongdae wants to hide in his room, wants to avoid his birthday ceremony and everything around it, but it's the most important one of his life, the castle in an uproar as they prepare for a more extravagant show.

Lu Han pushes Jongdae with his nose, eyes flicking towards the door, a silent "go". Jongdae grumbles, peeling himself off the wood boards and onto his feet, shoes feeling heavy on his feet from lack of sleep.

Tomorrow he comes of age.

---

Lessons and rehearsals go smoothly despite Yixing looking frantic the entire time, hair unbrushed and robes askew. When Jongdae asks what the problem is, he just answers,"Extra security."

Jongdae knows his parents, the faceless King and Queen in his life are probably the cause for this, heightened security and stressed out staff for a son they see once a month.

By the time he gets home Jongdae doesn't even want to complete his homework, doesn't want to go to the ceremony, knows his dumb narrative by heart.

He collapses into his bed, jolting at the horrible noise it makes as a spring uncoils, reminding him of just how old this bed is, just how neglected his needs can be past being guarded and forced through long lessons.

Lu Han doesn't show up, and Jongdae thinks of it as a good thing, worried for his safety in a castle set on slaughtering anyone that isn't a known guest. Though he supposed if Lu Han is who he says he is, he could probably make it through without a scratch.

The confusing worry is there though, and it doesn't go away, that one part of Jongdae pining for the wolf to jump through his window for a third time.

--

Jongdae arrives at the ceremony with Sehun and Minseok both, extra security for what could potentially be dangerous, sitting in between both of them and glancing around to see what's new, to see what took up so much rehearsal time. There's nothing new about the set up, little candles in a circle, the King and Queen sitting with Joonmyun, faces stony and shadowed.

The sun hasn't quite set yet, streams of light visible over the horizon, and Jongdae attempts not to fidget, stilling in his seat as bells begin to chime quietly in his ears, nervous energy threatening to consume him.

It's comforting in a way, a relief to know Lu Han is somewhere near, despite the dangers that come with him as well, the trust that Jongdae can't find behind his soft brown eyes that sometimes flash red, the colour of blood.

Jongdae hasn't seen Baekhyun or Yixing at all today, hasn't seen Baekhyun all month really. They'd said there was extra work, extra set up, but it's nowhere to be seen, confusion making Jongdae's hands shake as he anticipates a new ceremony, one that will make the ache in his chest grow.

Jongdae could almost laugh. A ceremony to celebrate his coming of age, a morbid birthday party to cause chest tightening pain, to cause emotion from a past life that may not be his own to rise and block his lungs, squeeze his eyes shut.

Hopefully Baekhyun is there after to calm him down, to take him through the hanging plants and the overwhelmingly sweet smell of the flowers, to give him lavender, to tell him of all the wrongs in the world in a sweet voice like rustling leaves, to make him forget the ceremony and forget the glint in his parents’ eyes, the one that tells him he doesn't belong.

The sun sets, garden lamps being doused earlier than usual causing Jongdae to twitch in his seat, shocked by the sudden darkness. Minseok puts a hand on his arm, whispers a hushed, "Bbe still".

Joonmyun walks to the middle of the circle, flute to his lips as usual, playing the opening notes with fluidity, sorrowful sound familiar to Jongdae's ears. Except this time Joonmyun lowers it early, opens his mouth and sings, a haunting melody that Jongdae can't recognize.

It's seems he's the only one that doesn't recognize it, sitting still and confused as Sehun and Minseok leap to their feet, the word "bandit" heavy in the air as the King and Queen slink from the circle and out of harm’s way. There's barely time to react, Joonmyun continuing to sing as a shrill cry pierces the air, two cloaked figures flying into the courtyard.

Fear is what brings Jongdae to his feet and into the gardens, tripping as he runs, diving into bushes and only looking behind him once, watching Minseok slash the throat of a bandit as Sehun holds down a struggling Joonmyun.

It's hard to take in, the thought of Joonmyun being a traitor, someone who he had respected. His chest heaves when the respect shatters, when the realization hits Jongdae that Joonmyun most likely orchestrated this, planned behind the scenes with no one knowing.

A silence falls over the gardens, the kind of silence that feels too quiet, the sound of bells the only reprieve Jongdae has as he pokes his head from behind the leaves, heart hammering as he glances around. There doesn't seem to be anyone around, the pathways deserted, no birds, no people, just Jongdae crawling his way out from under the bushes and into the warm moonlight.

He walks towards the castle, breathing as quietly as he can, nervous of being found, of being heard, every loud footfall making him twitch in fear. There's a crack near his left and Jongdae goes catapulting back into the bushes, nose scrunching as the smell of flowers attacks his senses.

Jongdae shrieks when someone reaches inside, hugs his arms to his chest and tries not to cry, forcing down the want to rid himself of his dinner.

"Jongdae," a familiar voice calls, one that has him stilling and unrolling from his cocoon position, crawling forward out of the bushes and into Baekhyun's arms. "You're okay. It's just me."

"Is everyone--"


"Everyone's fine." Baekhyun interrupts, smiling at him and tugging gently on his arm. "Let's get you back home. People are worried."

"By people you mean Yixing and Minseok,." Jongdae mumbles, thinking of the King and Queen who only put so much work into protecting him for the sake of their reputations.

"And Sehun,." Baekhyun adds, pushing Jongdae's arm playfully, steering him not towards the castle but deeper into the gardens. "Let's get you some lavender first. It'll help you sleep better tonight."

Jongdae's not sure anything will help him sleep better after this, terrified that even closing his eyes will make them come for him again, birthday boy who's now old enough to be cultivated as food, eaten by the cult, heart passed from one to another in a morbid feast of immortality.

Jongdae is so preoccupied by this that he doesn't notice them going out the garden gates and down the darkened paths that lead away from the castle and towards the forest, the ones visible from his window, and the furthest from his room he's ever been.

He's also too preoccupied by his thoughts that he doesn't notice the bells cease or the wolf slinking through the shadows, following close behind them and waiting for it's moment to pounce, aura of hatred bright.

Baekhyun is speaking loudly, assuring Jongdae that he'll be alright, that Minseok will make sure no one gets into the castle, that no one hurts Jongdae, or anyone for that matter. Jongdae nods along, legs suddenly weak and mind tired. The ache in his chest is abnormally present, suffocating him and pulling him away from Baekhyun's tight embrace.

"Where are we going?" Jongdae asks, staying an arm's length away from Baekhyun, not wanting to touch, not wanting to be near, too scared that a bandit may jump from the side of the path, that Baekhyun himself may be a bandit. Trust is a fragile thing in Jongdae's world, built up from years of honesty, years of loyalty, and it's been shattered by a man he barely knew.

"I thought you'd want some fresher air,." Baekhyun says, reaching for Jongdae's wrist again, pulling back with a frown when Jongdae flinches away. "Are you okay? It's just a bit further and we can go back. Nothing will get you here."

"I'm not safe anywhere,." Jongdae says, pausing in the middle of the dimly lit path, apprehensive eyes on the darkness ahead where the gravel is swallowed by the trees. "I just want to go home."

"Don't you trust me?" Baekhyun asks quietly, shoulders sagging and pout on his lips, looking every bit like a kicked animal. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine,." Jongdae says quickly, panicked thoughts racing to an apology. "I'm just. I'm allowed to freak out."

Baekhyun nods, keeping quiet, but still moves towards the trees, beckoning Jongdae behind him. Jongdae hesitates, looking at the way they'd come from, at the pillars of the castle in the distance, his tower visible over the archway of the garden gate and the tips of yellowing trees.

A low snarl catches his attention, has him bolting away from the trees and back to the gardens, leaving Baekhyun behind as he scrambles to keep his footing, tripping and sprawling into the gravel underneath him.

Jongdae palms are bleeding from the force of his fall, scraped skin and broken fingernails causing piercing pain to shoot through his hands and down his wrists. He sits on the ground, tears at the corners of his eyes, looking down and waiting, too scared to glance up, to see where Baekhyun is and what had made that noise, what had come to kill him.

He does look up eventually, and instead of Baekhyun standing in front of him on the path it's a white wolf, recognizable red markings, sharp and bright in the light from the lamps in front of the garden.

"Lu Han?" Jongdae calls out nervously, staying where he is on the ground, still refusing to move. "Where is-- where did Baekhyun--"

Lu Han doesn't answer, doesn't change from wolf form, bounding over to Jongdae and shoving his nose into his stomach, tail wagging. He noses at Jongdae's hands, whines softly and begins to lick them, cleaning the dirt from between his fingertips. Jongdae just blinks in confusion, holding still and trying not to flinch in pain when a soft tongue runs over what will definitely scar, a jagged cut across his life line.

Only when he deems Jongdae clean and safe, licking a stripe up his face for good measure does Lu Han become a human, crouching next to Jongdae and holding out a hand, fingers gentle as they close around Jongdae's wrist.

"Baekhyun is dangerous,." Lu Han tells him, soft, persuasive, gentle. "I'm sorry I scared you, but you would have died if you followed him into those trees."

"But Baekhyun would never--" Jongdae shakes his head, tears threatening to run from his eyes down to his chin. "I've known him my entire life."

"And that was no accident,." Lu Han mutters darkly, searching Jongdae's features for something, causing Jongdae to lean backwards warily. "We need to get away from the castle. You need to get away from the castle. It's not safe anymore."

"And how do I know to trust you?." Jongdae asks, rising from the ground and dusting himself off, looking Lu Han straight in the eye. "I've learned today that I can't trust anyone, how should I trust you?"

"Because you don't know me,." Lu Han says simply, a shrug of his shoulders accompanying his words, features impassive. "I've done nothing yet to prove myself untrustworthy."

"You've done nothing to prove yourself trustworthy,." Jongdae hisses, not moving forward and wrenching his wrist out of Lu Han's grip. "You showed up just in time for my birthday, just in time for me to be old enough, claiming to be some long dead deity. I can't trust you."

"You have no choice,." Lu Han says quietly, and he looks sad almost, eyes turned downwards and tongue running across his teeth. "I just want to protect you."

"Do you want to? Or do you want to protect me from all these bad bandits so you can have my heart to yourself?" Jongdae asks harshly, anger growing as his anxiety peaks, as the squeezing in his chest becomes ringing in his ears, hands shaking and breath quickening.

"I just want you,." Lu Han murmurs suddenly, voice barely audible as he steps forward and rests a hand gently on Jongdae's cheek, gazing at him as if Jongdae is his lover. "You're my cat and I must not lose you again now that I've found you."

"I'm not--" Jongdae starts, flustered but unmoving, Lu Han's touch seeming to burn through the skin of his cheeks, warm and inviting, yet terrifying, too close.

"You are,." Lu Han says, leaning in closer and running a finger along the top of Jongdae's cheekbones, finding the mole near his eyebrow. "You have all the same moles, the same face, the same presence. You weren't guarded out of fear for your own life you know."

"Then why was i guarded?" Jongdae asks, words not biting this time, but unsure, held back and quieter. "Just because I'm the reincarnation?"

"You were guarded because your parents are greedy,." Lu Han says, tugging on his wrist again, and this time Jongdae follows, swallowing his response away. "The King and Queen protected you not because they loved you, but because they didn't want anyone else having the opportunity for immortality presented them by your birth."

"Oh,." Jongdae says, stopping in his tracks. "They--"

"From what I overheard while hiding out in the gardens, they were to finish the ceremony and take you downstairs to end your life." Lu Han says, spitting the words out in a distressed kind of fury. "It's nearly a good thing the bandits ruined it, a good thing you've been living under the watchful and traitorous eyes of the Ttrickster and the Sscholar."



"I-- what-- I haven't--" Jongdae is stuttering a little, feet planted firmly on the ground and eyes wide as he looks at Lu Han tries to process his words, the sheer amount of different things he's spilling forth.

"I'll explain when we find somewhere safe,." Lu Han tells him, tugging him off the path and along the edges of a farmer's field. He's bringing Jongdae to the creek, trickling noise growing louder as they near it, as Lu Han breathes in deeply and runs a hand through his hair, hand warm and safe around Jongdae's arm.

It's a cave, wet outside but dry inside, a bed of moss and leaves spread along the ground, tiny firepit by it's entrance and cloth scattered about; loose clothing and a makeshift blanket.

"Is this where you've been living?" Jongdae asks, trailing fingers along the cave wall, pulling them back to find them damp. "No wonder you wanted to sleep in a bed."

"As a wolf I can sleep anywhere,." Lu Han admits, sitting down on the soft bedding he's made on the floor, patting the ground in front of him and looking up at Jongdae with a welcoming smile. "But seeing as I'm trapped as a wolf all day, sleeping in a warm bed as a human is nice."

"Especially with my bondmate beside me for the first time since the beginnings of the Nnew Aage,." hHe adds, blinking at Jongdae and smiling a different smile, a cryptic one that feels like it's too intimate for Jongdae to see, one saved for someone of different status in Lu Han's life than he.

But then again, if he is who Lu Han says he is, if he is the Cat to the Wolf, there is no one of higher status, no one more deserving of the praise, attention, love of that the Wolf can give.

"If I'm really bound to you,." Jongdae says in a hushed voice, words muffled by the dampness of the cave walls, by the smooth flow of the water nearby. "Wouldn't I be able to tell? Without memories?"

"Involuntary emotional responses,." Lu Han starts to explain, words cutting deeper with each point he makes. "An ache you can't explain, an obsession with seeking out information about the subject, an attraction, immediate and confusing. You'll feel drawn to that person and everything about them, and you'll feel emotional responses to things of your past life. Fears, death, traumatic experiences."

"The ceremony,." Jongdae mutters, making sense of the hurt he'd felt, the panic attacks in bathtubs, the fear he feels right now at the sound of water nearby. "I'm scared of water. And I get upset during the ceremony when the Ttrickster curses them, when the Ccat drowns."

"You trusted me," Lu Han points out, and he stays his distance now, gives Jongdae the space he needs. "I was an intruder and you told no one. You hid me and covered for me, even to Yixing, your trusted tutor."

"It felt right," Jongdae frowns, trying to make sense of how he feels. "I didn't really think of it, it was just instinct."

"You should follow those." Lu Han prods gently, blonde hair shining in the light that spills from the moon into the cave. He's beautiful, truly beautiful, and Jongdae is momentarily starstruck, following the curve of his jaw, his small yet lush lips and the way his ears stick out from his hair, pointed like that of an elf.

"My instincts?" Jongdae asks a beat too late, willing the colour in his cheeks to fade when Lu Han's eyes never waver from his, knowing smile tugging at his lips as he catches Jongdae staring.

"Yes. Your instincts," Lu Han says, leaning against the cave wall and propping his legs up in front of him, still staring at Jongdae. "They often tell you things your logic does not."

"Like what?" Jongdae mumbles, crossing his legs and glancing around, the thought of running home still lurking in the back of his mind, threatening to crawl to it's surface at any moment.

"Your logic tells you to trust Yixing and Baekhyun, tells you to run back and hide in your room, does it not?" Lu Han asks, but does not wait for answer before continuing, "Yet your instinct has led you here, with me."

"Why is that?"

"That's how it's meant to be,." Lu Han says, small smile turned in Jongdae's direction. "You'll see. Take your time."

"You're very sure about this,." Jongdae remarks, leaning against the opposite wall and ignoring the way the warm wetness seeps through the back of shirt. He's growing comfortable, calming down, still on edge but not quite.

"Of course I am,." Lu Han says, and he's still smiling conspiratorially, yawning and glancing towards the entrance of the cave, features growing wary. "You should sleep. I need to patrol the area tomorrow and see where bandits are stationed, get us moving and towards the border where it's safer."

"You were going to tell me about the Ttrickster and the Sscholar." Jongdae reminds him, not ready to sleep until he hears, until Lu Han explains himself.

"You've lived with them most of your life,." Lu Han says, looking at the ground and then back up at Jongdae, eyes sad and apologetic. "Baekhyun and Yixing, the Ttrickster and the Sscholar."

"But how could they--" Jongdae licks his lips, leans forward and rests his chin on his knees, calm energy leaving to be replaced with a kind of nervous jitter, starting from the pit of his stomach and working it's way up his throat to catch his breath. "They've taken care of me."

"Why do you think Yixing could get the charms? Would convince you to wear them?." Lu Han says with a sigh, head tilted and eyes looking worried. "What better way to get someone than to trick them, raise them, gain their complete trust before sweeping it out from under their feet?"

"Baekhyun can't be the Ttrickster." Jongdae says, voice insisting, but not sounding right, even to his own ears. "He's always been nice to me, gave me lavender to help me sleep."

"I'm sorry,." Lu Han says with, lips curling up into a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "You don't have to believe me, but I would never lie to you."

"I don't know what to believe,." Jongdae mutters, legs curling up closer to his chest, making himself small against the wall. "I don't know what I have permission to believe."

"You have permission to believe whatever you want," Lu Han says, and his voice is quiet, body shifting in position as if to move towards Jongdae, but staying in place, fingers awkwardly clasping together. "You've lived your whole life under rules but you're allowed to break them."

"I did break them all the time,." Jongdae says with a grin. "I snuck out nearly every night to read books I wasn't allowed."

"See, there's a start," Lu Han says, eyes brighter now, red glint flashing briefly before they become soft brown again. "Once you break one rule you have to break them all. After all, what deity listens to anyone but themselves?"

"I'm not a deity." Jongdae looks towards the back wall of the cave, takes in the darkness of the night, finds solace in it as he always has in the past. "I'm just a normal boy. But you're a deity aren't you? A strange one."

"I may be a deity but I've only ever cared about one thing," Lu Han says, chin resting in his palm. "I only have one job now. And so do you. Sleep."

Jongdae opens his mouth to argue, to ask more questions, to understand, but he is tired, weary from the day, sitting in a cave further away from home than he's ever been with someone he doesn't know, someone who claims he's the reincarnated love of their life.

Jongdae relents, curls up on the cool moss floor and closes his eyes, shivering without a blanket, not used to spending so much time in the fresher air.

He's so tired that he barely registers the warmth that envelops him, soft fur tickling the backs of his arms as a heavy body presses against his.

----

The cave is empty.

Jongdae blinks in confusion, shaking off the sleep, muscles tired and aching from the not so soft ground, hair in his eyes, stretching his limbs out only to curl back up in apprehension, and(?) wait for Lu Han to return.

A part of him is panicking, worrying, wondering if Lu Han is gone and he's stuck here alone with no idea where he is, the possibility of having no home to return to causing tears to spring to his eyes.

It hits him like a sudden wave, sobs shaking his body as he cries, confusion, anger, stress, fear; an overwhelming array of emotion that consumes him at once, tears streaming freely now that he's alone and has no choice but to confront his own shaking heart.

He doesn't notice Lu Han at the mouth of the cave, resting back on his hind legs and hesitating, before slowly walking forwards and lying down in front of Jongdae, paws and snout resting on his knees, large dewy eyes looking at him pathetically.

Jongdae rests a hand carefully on his head, buries his fingers in the slightly coarse fur there, eventually giving up and curling himself on top of Lu Han, fingers gripping fur and face buried between shoulder blades. He stays there, half- hugging, half- lying on Lu Han's wolf figure for a long time, pulling back with a hastily muttered apology, a glance towards the sunlight streaming in.

Silence greets him, Lu Han shaking his head, ears tilting back and eyes shining. He has the same eyes as a wolf, same emotion running through them, sparkling brightly at Jongdae with something akin to love, something that calms him down, heartbeat slowing and breathing evening out.

Lu Han paws at him, looks towards the cave opening and runs over, glancing back and Jongdae and waving his tail. Jongdae nervously goes to the entrance, looks at the creek, and at the trees, field large and treacherous feeling nearby.

Lu Han is going into the trees, streams of gold flying behind him like ribbons as he runs, stopping every once in a while to make sure Jongdae is still following him. He bounds through the forest and towards another bank of the creek, stopping and sitting a good distance away, rolling onto his back.

Jongdae sits down beside him, eyes still red from his crying and nose stuffy, he rests his head in his arms, watching Lu Han roll around in the yellowing grass like a puppy, sunlight causing his fur to shimmer, waves of gold dancing across tips of white fur, tracing the red markings.

"You're such a pretty wolf,." Jongdae comments, reaching out to ruffle gold tinted fur, grinning when Lu Han rolls towards him, paws in the air and nose touching his knee.

It's strange, the similarities between the Wolf and Lu Han, the barrier that feels lighter when Lu Han is a wolf, cuddles not feeling intimate, petting feeling nothing more than just petting a large dog.

But it's still Lu Han, eyes flashing red and ears swiveling at every second noise, body stiffening at a passing bird from the corner of his eye. He's playful, teasing, friendly, but on edge, watching and waiting for danger, mapping the paths and trees as they walk, eventually turning back swiftly and pushing Jongdae’s butt with his nose.

The sun is just setting when they get back, Lu Han sticking close to Jongdae and snarling softly at the sound of their own footsteps, at the sound of a squirrel streaking through the treetops.

He's taking his protecting job very seriously, a loud crack from above sending him darting to Jongdae's side, hackles raised and teeth bared, eyes glowing a blood red, fearful and savage.

When the sun disappears and Lu Han becomes Lu Han again, Jongdae automatically moves a little further away from him, missing the warmth and noticing the disappoint in Lu Han's gaze, but he's not ready yet.

He doesn't know when or if he will be, when or if his memories will unlock, his powers will return, or whether Lu Han has been lying the whole time, mistaking him for someone else or just deceiving him.

Jongdae is thinking about this, teeth breaking the skin around his nails as he stress chews, a habit picked up during childhood, eyes on the faded green moss, mind somewhere far away, when he feels a warm hand on his shoulder, turns his head to the side to stare directly into Lu Han's gentle eyes, captivating in the near darkness.

"Don't think too much," Lu Han says softly, running his fingers down Jongdae's arm before moving away, crawling to the dark back corner of the cave and returning with a bay leaf filled with berries. "You need to eat."

"Don't you?" Jongdae asks, hesitantly popping a few larger red ones into his mouth, wary that Lu Han might take his chance now, might poison him and eat his heart for his own dinner.

"I do," Lu Han laughs, popping one into his own mouth, chewing face a cute image before Jongdae's eyes, another confusing spike of emotion in that one part of him. "I just wanted you to eat first."

"How kind," Jongdae says around a mouthful of blue fruit. He's been fed this particular berry before from the playful hands of Yixing, a treat for a lesson well spent. It causes another spike of emotion this one of a different nature, a confusing and nostalgic one.

He nearly throws up the berry, shakes and holds a hand to his mouth, apologizes to Lu Han and says he can't eat anymore, please no more.

Lu Han looks concerned, hand finding Jongdae's in between them, fingers curling around his own fingers, delicate but strong, comforting and quiet. He doesn't question, just holds, pushing the berries to the side and staring at Jongdae with intensity, too much of it.

Jongdae shies away after only a short while of this, whispers that he thinks it's time for bed.

"I'll go out on my own tomorrow," Lu Han says, and his voice is sweet, the caramel sounding tone that makes Jongdae's heart sing of its own accord. "You should rest. You'll be safe staying here and I won't go out long. I'm figuring out our path so we can move to the Reili River safely."

"River," Jongdae answers from where he's curling up, eyes threatening to quit on him and limbs heavy, so tired. "I don't want to go."

"It's the only way to cross the border from Meili to Seili," Lu Han tells him, and Jongdae feels a comforting brush of fingertips across his arm before cold air replaces where they just were. "I'll take you across. You'll be fine darling."

"I'm not your darling," Jongdae mutters, but it's without fight, fatigue dragging him into a deep sleep.

---
Jongdae stays while Lu Han goes for two days, eating berries and lying on the floor, growing braver each day, courage allowing his natural snark to shine through, talking back when Lu Han decides to be cryptic, distance closing between them slowly, carefully, tentative steps towards trust, towards Jongdae ceasing to be completely wary.

He's starting to become infatuated, drawn in by parts of himself that aren't just that one part, opening up and accepting, talking freely, pretending not to notice the way Lu Han curls up next to him as a wolf when he thinks Jongdae is asleep.

The first bandit attack comes while they're still out, sun gone down and path back to the cave longer, Lu Han walking beside Jongdae and telling him a story of the early Nnew Aage, of growing up taught by the Sscholar, of developing feelings, shocked when Jongdae tells him of his own, a kind of jealousy easily noticeable in his glaring gaze.

The cloaked swordsman leaps from behind a tree, clumsy in their approach and unprofessional, an outlier according to Lu Han, not part of the main cult but believing in their ways, wanting a piece for themselves.

Lu Han strikes them down quickly easily, paws covered in blood that is not his own. He's apologetic, worried that Jongdae will be angry with him for causing violence, for not being merciful, a reflexive kill from his need to protect, to make sure Jongdae falls under no harm.

Jongdae just smiles at him, walks closer and wraps his arms around Lu Hans neck, burying his face in his chest and thanking him quietly, heart pounding so hard that he's sure Lu Han feels it through their embrace.

Lu Han kisses him then, a short and sweet touching of lips, more apologies spilling forth, cheeks reddening and eyes turned downwards, one that Jongdae returns with an awkward silence, nervously turning away to sit near the back of the cave, thoughts swirling, different parts excited, worried.

He likes Lu Han, that's for sure, wants to feel his soft lips again, wants to wrap himself in his embrace, accept himself as the Cat and Lu Han as his alpha deity. But it's confusing, this rift between Jongdae's life experience, between Lu Han's confusing emotions and act towards him, sometimes addressing him as Jongdae and sometimes going to that far away place he goes to when he mentions Chen, mentions who Jongdae is supposed to be.

It's almost as if Jongdae is jealous of someone that is supposed to represent who he is, jealous that this person he should be, this amazing, incredible deity that once shone in Lu Han's life brighter than his own sun.

But Jongdae is weak to his own feelings, weak to his own thoughts and his own heart, especially weak to the bells that ring when Lu Han comes close to the cave, stopping to be replaced with a gentle smile as Lu Han sits down in front of him and offers him Beirir, the blue fruit he trusts and cherishes.

There's something stirring inside Jongdae, a kind of want as he thinks of Lu Han kissing him again, still nervous and hesitant about this sudden need to have those lips on his, to attach himself to the boy who sits in front of him, tongue flicking out to taste the berries before they go down his throat.

It's strangely erotic, Jongdae watching with his mouth slightly open, wondering if Lu Han's doing it on purpose, trying to seduce him for the sake of his quest for the Cat. Lu Han smirks at him, as if understanding his train of thought, fingers slipping past Jongdae's lips with a berry, the taste running down his throat, overly sweet mixing with the salty taste of Lu Han's fingertips.

They sit facing each other for a long while, nothing said between them, and Jongdae briefly thinks of what to say, how to let Lu Han know that he hadn't really overstepped a boundary, that this boundary between them may no longer exist if Lu Han can only prove that Jongdae is just as important as Chen.

"I--" Lu Han starts, pauses, goes to start again. Jongdae puts a hand up, stops him, licks his lips nervously and speaks.

"I kind of-- I think --" Jongdae pauses, frowns, blinks at Lu Han sheepishly, teeth nearly ripping apart his lower lip. "I don't mind that you kissed me really. You're allowed."

"Am I?" Lu Han asks, mouth partially open, and voice hopeful. He shuffles forward across the mossy bed they've made for themselves, touches his knees to Jongdae's. "Can I kiss you now?"

Jongdae nods, a rare show of silence in favour of letting Lu Han take charge, nearly squeaking when Lu Han climbs into his lap, straddling him and breath hitting his face from too close. Or maybe it’s not close enough, Jongdae closing the distance himself, a kind of awkward bumping of lips that has Lu Han giggling, pressing in more.

It's innocent at first, but Lu Han is eager, simple moving of lips against lips growing more frantic, less controlled, Lu Han ending up nearly suffocating Jongdae with his body, pressed flush against him. Jongdae is just as eager if not a little clumsy, low noise in the back of his throat when Lu Han sucks on his tongue, presses his hips down, lightly but effectively.

He rolls his hips down into Jongdae's lap, kissing his way down his neck and back up towards his ear, nipping and biting and sucking, hips still grinding down, combined efforts rendering Jongdae a mess.

They’re moving fast and Jongdae can’t quite keep up, nearly missing the words Lu Han whispers into his ear, sloppy promises, tongue warm and lips burning.

"What do you need kitten?" Lu Han asks, voice lower than normal, lips briefly pressing down below Jongdae's ear. "Mine or yours?"

Jongdae's breath stutters, response catching in his throat. It's not often he's rendered mute, always the one with something to say, teases and sarcasm waiting to pour from his lips. But Lu Hans presence is setting his nerves on fire, flames licking their way to his fingertips, right down to his cock.

Lu Han's teeth scrape carefully along the veins of his neck, pausing over a scar, tongue flicking out as if to taste.

"You have the scar," Lu Han murmurs, kissing the spot gently, thumbs digging into Jongdae's hips.

"I've always had that." Jongdae says, breathy from the way Lu Han continues to assault his neck, fingers ghosting across his lower stomach, dancing into dips and curves, teasingly close to the tie of his pants.

"It followed you from your last life," Lu Han says with pride, moving in to kiss Jongdae slow and sweet, speaking against his lips. "I should claim you again. Give you a new scar."

"Then I would be yours twice wouldn't I?" Jongdae says with suspicion, meeting Lu Han’s eyes. They're inches apart, and he can see the way Lu Han’s pupils are dilated, irises glowing a deep red. "That's not fair."

"Don't you want to be mine?" Lu Han whispers, undoing the tie of Jongdae's pants, lightly stroking the side of his cock with teasing fingers. Jongdae bites his lip to stop the embarassing moan threatening to spill out, the feeling of being touched by someone else completely new.

"I've waited so long to have you again." Lu Han breathes, speaking in between feverish, open mouthed kisses, voice filled with want.

"I'm not Chen," Jongdae mutters, but he's growing impatient, gripping Lu Hans arms as he leans back in to kiss him.

"I know that." Lu Han says. "In a way you are and in a way you aren't. It doesn't matter."

But doesn't it? A small voice interrupts in Jongdae's mind, drawing his attention for half a second before he's mesmerized by Lu Han's voice once again.

"You never answered me," Lu Han hisses, pushing Jongdae down onto his back, gaze burning. "Mine or yours?"

"Why don't you decide, alpha?" Jongdae says, surprising himself with his own words. "Show me how this works."

"I can't fuck you here." Lu Han says quietly, brushing the tip of his thumb across Jongdae's bottom lip. "What a shame."

Lu Han leans down to kiss Jongdae, pressing their bodies close together and grinds down, cocks running together through cloth. Jongdae is gasping, hips meeting Lu Han's, friction building between them. He grips Lu Han's shoulders and thrusts up, whining when Lu Han slows down, rolling his hips languidly, hand brushing gently through Jongdae's hair.

Lu Han kisses him, tongue sliding past inviting lips, hot, heavy and teasing, exploring Jongdae's mouth as slowly as he moves his hips.

He picks up the pace after a while, kissing Jongdae passionately, tongue curling around his and teeth clashing, gripping the back of Jongdae's neck tightly and he grinds down with force.

Jongdae's climax hits suddenly, loud moan swallowed by Lu Hans mouth, collapsing onto the mossy cave floor. Lu Han stops rolling his hips, kissing his way across Jongdae's collar and then his hand, kissing each fingertip.

"Help me out?" Lu Han asks around a finger, sucking harshly on it and bringing another gasp to Jongdae's lips.

Jongdae carefully slides his hand past Lu Hans waistband, pulling them down and releasing Lu Han’s cock, flushed red and leaking in his hand.

Jongdae tugs harshly, twisting the same way he does to his own cock when he's about to come. It only takes a few rough strokes before Lu Han comes all over his hand, whimpering as ropes of white, spill across Jongdae's knuckles.

Jongdae licks his fingers clean, more out of curiosity than trying to be sexy, finding he doesn't mind the taste, salty and kind of sweet, wondering if Lu Han can taste himself in their next kiss, tongue running greedily over Lu Han's.

Jongdae finds himself tangled in Lu Hans limbs, feeling cold lips press lightly against the back of his neck, and arms wrapped securely around his waist. They've slept together before, but that was always with Lu Han as a wolf, and this feels more intimate, different.

It confuses Jongdae, makes the logical part of him squirm nervously, but that other part of him, the one that draws him close to Lu Han like some kind of bond is ecstatic, wanting to melt into the body behind him, stay there safe forever.

And that's what makes things complicated, this reincarnation thing, this insistence that Jongdae is the Cat -- Lu Han's cat -- deity of the night. It makes him nervous, insecure, worried that Lu Han had kissed him, touched him, whispered words to not him, but Chen.

Lu Han may love Chen, may have devoted his entire life to protecting his reincarnation, but right now Jongdae isn't Chen, is just himself.

Just a normal boy thrown into a strange life since birth.

---

They leave the next morning, Lu Han a little ahead, leaving the winding paths and hiding in the underbrush, silently directing Jongdae how to pass through safely. They're mapping the last part of the path, not turning back this time and continuing on to Seili, the sacred sun lands, a place Jongdae has dreamed about many times, a place where darkness falls in shorter hours and the light shines too bright.

He thinks about that, wonders if Lu Han is ever pained by the lack of night, spending too much time as a wolf and not enough time as a walking, speaking, person. Lu Han rarely mentions it, rarely draws attention to his curse, but it's there with them everyday, in every moment Lu Han has to wait until sundown to tell Jongdae important things, in the way he snarls when he can't take Jongdae's hand to tug him through the trees.

Lu Han seems to sense Jongdae slowing down, turns back and runs towards him, eyes worried as he pushes his nose against Jongdae's thigh, running back ahead. Jongdae follows him as usual, unsteady in the new territory, further away from the cave than any other day.

It's growing more open, less forest and more field, expanses of yellow grass, dying as Autumn advances. It makes Jongdae nervous, causes him to feel less safe, less secluded, spending more time catching up to Lu Han and staying near him, knowing he can't protect himself.

Lu Han doesn't mind, shining light signalling sundown as Lu Han appears before Jongdae. His hair looks different today, less blonde and more light brown, soft on the eyes and probably soft to the touch. Lu Han tells him it's from being out in the sun, hold out an arm and shows Jongdae his slight tan, frowning when Jongdae pokes at his skin and tells him he's still pale like a snow ghost.

It's a lot calmer walking at night, the sound of owls forever in the distance, heard but never seen, the quiet rustling of small animals no longer making Jongdae jump every time a leaf moves in the wind. It's nicer too, because Lu Han interlaces their fingers, sometimes curls them around his wrist, guides and protects him, makes Jongdae feel both safe and coddled, slightly annoyed once in a while with the insistence that hes's not that useless.

And he isn't completely useless. Jongdae has learned self defense, has learned how to wield a sword and how to shoot a crossbow, has learned from Baekhyun how to high kick and how to fight dirty. But in a way he is useless because he's never used these skills, never battled a real life enemy, always running, always hiding, terrified of the fate that may come to him.

The fate that may fall upon the rest of Meili, the rest of Lu Han's home. It scares him infinitely, the knowledge that if they get his heart, if they harness the powers within, the lands of the Middle Age could be in danger, could be enslaved, destroyed, owned by a cult of magical beings that have granted their followers with things they don't need, should not have.

And Jongdae wonders, if the Ttrickster and the Sscholar have immortality, have magic of their own, how it's possible to kill them, how it's possible to have them begging on their knees, when Lu Han himself has not been able to catch the Ttrickster and reverse his curse.

"Every deity has something that can cause them to perish,." Lu Han tells him that night over their dinner of usual fruit, ignoring Jongdae's protests and hand feeding him each one, nose scrunching up in smug bliss when Jongdae relents, closing his lips daintily around each berry and around Lu Han's fingers. "My Mother perished simply because it was her time, but a deity can perish before their time."

"Like Chen did?"

"Yes," Lu Han says darkly, eyes narrowing at the mention of it. "Though he should not have been able to perish that way. But curses ruin people."

"So how does the Trickster perish? How does the Scholar perish?" Jongdae asks, steering the subject away from making-Lu Han-sad territory. "How do we kill them?"

"Baekhyun has a scar," Lu Han explains, lifting up a corner of his shirt and drawing a finger across the inner part of his hipbone, not forgetting to smirk when Jongdae's eyes stay on the exposed skin a heart beat too long. "An incision must be cleanly and perfectly made along that scar and he will perish."

"That doesn't sound too hard to do," Jongdae says, eyes not on Lu Han but on the open grass visible just beyond the trees, the sparks of movement and of light, the faeries joining the fireflies in their friendly dance.

"You'd think so," Lu Han mutters, sighing and putting his food down. "He's hard to tie down. It would take either unconsciousness or seduction to get him in your hands and both are nearly impossible."

"He's too loyal to Yixing," Jongdae says with a nod, thinking of the two and their constant closeness, Baekhyun often sitting in on his lessons just to be touching Yixing in some way, just to breathe the same air.

"He is," Lu Han agrees, settling down into the grass on his side and watching the faeries dance, curve of his hips where his shirt rides up distracting. "Though I do believe with the right convincing he would sleep with someone. As long as he could kill them afterwards."

"Like a praying mantis," Jongdae blurts out, thinking of the bugs that eat their mates after mating is done, nearly giggling at the mental image of Baekhyun's head on a mantis body.

Lu Han just stares at him, tinted the slightest red, confusing Jongdae as he stares back, trying to figure out the reasoning for the intensity.

"Jongdae," Lu Han says with sudden seriousness, sitting up and moving closer to Jongdae until he's sitting in directly in front of him, legs crossed and eyes soft.

"Lu Han," Jongdae says back sarcastically, though he does give him a shy, kittenish grin.

"I like you,." Lu Han says, taking one of his hands, caressing them with his thumbs.

"I know,." Jongdae blinks at him, kittenish grin becoming a confused grin.

"No, I mean--" Lu Han licks his lips, leans forward without warning and presses them gently to Jongdae's. It's not the start of something, just a tiny kiss that leaves Jongdae even more confused, waiting for Lu Han to continue. "I like you.. Not Chen, you."

"Really?" Jongdae breathes, and it's like something twists in his gut, swooping into his heart and breathing a sigh of relief through his lungs.

"I love Chen of course,." Lu Han says slowly, unsure of his own words. "But I like you also, if that makes sense. I'm beginning to believe that this is my curse, that I'm destined to have both of you."

"That's greedy,." Jongdae points out, but he's smiling, relieved, finally getting the proper answer he'd needed when Lu Han had pushed him down onto a mossy floor and made him moan.

"I'm a greedy God,." Lu Han says with a smirk, bringing Jongdae's hand to his lips and kissing the back of it like Jongdae is a Prince. And he is, a Prince that is, but he doesn't deserve this treatment. "When you gain your memories, I think it won't be easy for you."

"What do you mean?" Jongdae frowns, voice unsure, hand dangling limply in Lu Han's hold.

"You're going to have two sets of memories, two sets of lives,." Lu Han says, chewing on his lip and giving Jongdae a slightly sympathetic look, one that Jongdae wants to smack off his face. "I don't think one will erase the other, and I think it's going to be difficult to merge your two selves and figure out who you really are."

"That is, if I am actually the Cat." Jongdae reminds him, a sad kind of smile on his lips as he realizes they aren't quite perfect yet. But no one is perfect after meeting the way they have, and under the circumstances they have. A small part of Jongdae holds onto his logic, still believes that Lu Han could just be crazy, a love starved deity searching for his lost soulmate, but another part, the larger, now all consuming part of Jongdae is beginning to believe him.

Lu Han shushes him, finger to his lips and hand sliding up his thigh, eyes twinkling with something devious. "That doesn't matter right now,." hHe murmurs, head tilted and fingers teasing. "All I want is you."

And Jongdae trusts him now, knows he does, let's himself be pushed back into the grass and taken by Lu Han's lips, by his mouth, moans lost in the vastness of the fields around them.

---

The trees are alive with cloaked bandits, streaking along branches and scaling down trunks. The forest is thick here, and Jongdae can't see his terrain as he runs in between the trunks, trips over roots and large rocks, scar on his hand ripping open once again, backwards scrambling backwards through twigs that scraping the heels of his feet, tears stinging the corners of his eyes.

Lu Han is nowhere to be found; no one is around at all, Jongdae is alone in this part of the woods, silence deafening after the shrill screams of the bandits, the neighing of a horse off in the distance. He stills, listening for bells, waiting for the chimes to signal Lu Han being close by, Lu Han being anywhere, but even his mind stays silent, breathing ragged as he lifts himself from the ground.

Jongdae's limping, wincing every time his slashed heel touches ground, the thought of infection in the back of his mind, too focused on surviving, on finding Lu Han. He walks for what seems like hours, head whipping back and forth at every noise, desperate to be at the cave, to brave dipping his feet into the creek, to have Lu Han be safe.

Jongdae doesn't reach the cave, but he does reach the river, collapsing at the top of a hill, light pouring onto the water as if his bank is a cave, and the other side is the entrance. He recognizes where he is, has been in here in a dream, the words La Luna on the tip of his tongue.

He sits by the water, not too close, unnatural fear he still can't understand bubbling to the surface and threatening to take over, threatening to have him quiver and yowl like a frightened cat.

Except he's not a cCat, he's not Chen, he's Jongdae. And he will continue to be Jongdae, no matter how many people attempt to steal his heart, no matter how many times Lu Han drops his hints and, gives him the sad eyes.

He doesn't think about this for long though because the bells sound in his ears, ringing clear as if they come from the outside air and not his mind. Jongdae staggers to his feet, sun at his back as he scans the plains for Lu Han, waits for the gleaming white of his fur to come streaking over grass.

And he does, barreling into Jongdae and sitting on his stomach, human form returning, eyes frantically searching for Jongdae's own in the conflicting beams of light versus dark. It's a vaguely intimate position, Lu Han straddling him and cupping his face, long eyelashes brushing against skin as Jongdae feels lips press to his neck, to his jaw, to his nose, eyelids, eventually settling over his lips.

Lu Han's kiss is burning, desperate, teeth sinking painfully into Jongdae bottom lip as he pulls away, tugging it with him. He looks down at Jongdae with a kind of feverish gaze, eyes bloodshot and lips trembling.

"I thought they killed you,." Lu Han breathes out, eyes wide and mouth falling open with the force of it, sounding as if his lungs are preparing to leap from his body. "When I couldn't find you, I thought you were gone."

"I'm still here,." Jongdae says with a laugh, relief trickling in beside shock, blinking rapidly and squirming when Lu Han continues his assault, kissing every inch of his face like an over-eager puppy. "You don't need to--"

Jongdae is cut off by the full weight of Lu Han, body collapsing on top of his and nose buried in Jongdae's neck, nuzzling his jaw like he's in wolf form. Jongdae giggles, breathless and confused by Lu Han's behaviour, wiggling out from underneath him.

"You're acting weird,." hHe remarks, squinting in the harsh light from the opposite bank. It's hurting his eyes, the contrast in light making it impossible for them to fully adjust.

"I''ve lost the one I love once,." Lu Han says and Jongdae startles at the sight of tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "I can't lose another one."

"You won't," Jongdae says with a reassuring smile, pulling Lu Han back on top of him, indulging him and wiping his tears, wondering just how they'd gotten to this point, just how fast Lu Han had switched from "I like you" to "I love you". And he hadn't said it, just hinted, but Jongdae is reeling, scared, still in pain from his panicked run through the woods, the roaring of the river a melody of sure death off to his side.

"I'm tough," Jongdae insists, and his hands are in Lu Han's hair, soft to the touch. He kisses him, carefully and slowly, trying to convey something he can't properly convey out loud, trying not to give in to his anxieties, his insecurities, just feels the desperation of Lu Han's fear.

"You run away and I have to save you every time," Lu Han mumbles against his mouth, but his anger is fake, lips curling up into a smile even as he complains.

"I’m a Prince." Jongdae says with a grin, fear washing away, feeling safe even with the river nearby, even with the bandits that could return any second to ambush them, out in the open and in danger of any weapon. "I need to fit my damsel in distress role."

"Shut up," Lu Han growls, nipping at Jongdae's ear threateningly, though he gets distracted by kissing his way across the shell, down Jongdae's neck, pausing over the scar before ending up back at his mouth, kisses less desperate now as they make out in the grass, sun at their backs and moon at their fronts.

"We'll cross the river when the sun comes up on this side,." Lu Han says when they break away, ruining the mood with his bad news, running fingers gently through Jongdae's bangs when he sees the panic in his eyes. "I'll take you across on my back, don't be scared."

"I can't not be scared,." Jongdae whines, curling up in the grass and looking pathetic. "I can't swim."

"I can,." Lu Han assures him. "You'll be fine. Now get some rest, I'll stay on look out."

"How are you going to survive on barely any sleep?" Jongdae asks, words nearly cut off by the yawn that takes up his entire face, hands and feet throbbing in pain, legs numb and tired.

"I'm tough,." Lu Han says, an echo of Jongdae's earlier words, pushing him down into a lying position. "I'll sit on you if you don't sleep."

"If you sit on me I can't promise to behave,." Jongdae shoots back, but he does lie down, curls up in fetal position and peeks at Lu Han through his arms.

Lu Han sits close to him, threading fingers through his hair, down his arms, across his back, comforting and meandering, lulling Jongdae into a nightmare filled sleep.

They cross the river first thing upon Jongdae waking up, Jongdae climbing carefully onto Lu Han's back and holding on as tightly as possibly, burying his face in fur and whimpering softly, feeling the sloshing of the water, the rocking of Lu Han’s body as they swim across.

The current is strong but it doesn't deter Lu Han, the only scare coming when Jongdae shrieks at the feel of water touching his foot, nearly throws himself into the water with the force of him pulling his foot back. Lu Han growls low in his throat, a warning to Jongdae, a be fucking careful kind of growl, and if Jongdae was an animal he would be yowling, flattening himself against Lu Han's back.

They reach the other side safely, but Jongdae doesn't calm down, eyes wild and breathing laboured, fingernails digging into skin even through fur, though Lu Han doesn't complain, just pads up the river bank and towards the great fields ahead of them.

He's much like a cat in this moment, fingernails digging in, eyes darting back and forth; if he had a tail it would be thrashing side to side, agitation evident in his body language. Despite this there's a calm air to this place, field upon field of tall grasses, rows of trees scattered about, though sparsely.

It's an alarming change, from overcast and heavily treed to open and sunny, but Jongdae doesn't really have time to notice, falling off Lu Han's back and into the grass, brightness of the sky causing him to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment.

He's in danger here.

Much more so than back in Meili where laws governed his protection, much more so than the secluded cave Lu Han had hidden him in. It's open, dangerous, new; home to a cult that wants nothing more than to slice his heart into tiny shareable pieces among themselves, led by the cunning mind of the Ttrickster.

Jongdae's brought back to reality when he feels something cold and wet touch his cheek, jolting away and sitting up straight, shocked eyes on Lu Han. The wolf is sitting beside him, tongue tangling from his snout in a perfect imitation of human Lu Han, ridiculous and kind of ugly.

"Did you just lick me?" Jongdae asks incredulously, hitting Lu Han lightly on the noise and laughing at the puppy whine that's sent his way. "Where to now? I don't like just sitting in a field."

Lu Han gets to his feet, shaking the water out of his fur viciously and pads towards a thin row of trees, through which Jongdae can see scattered buildings, small huts with ornamental roofs. He recognize the markings on the tops of the houses, the same ones around Lu Han's eyes, and feels safer. If they trust in the Alpha here then it should be safe passing, Jongdae nervously resting a hand on Lu Han's back as they walk, to keep himself comforted.

The villagers ignore Jongdae at first, bowing to Lu Han as he passes, but soon all eyes are on Jongdae, this simple human following a centuries old wolf through the town square. There are voices, soft and low, spoken to each other, wondering who Jongdae is, but no one steps forward, the townspeople keeping a respectable distance.

Jongdae questions it later when the sun has finally gone down and they're sitting atop a hill, Lu Han on constant guard, nervous even while he takes the cores out of the apple- like fruit he'd gathered earlier.

"They don't necessarily worship me." Lu Han says as he hands Jongdae the fruit, watching him like a protective mother as he eats it down, hands fluttering nervously as if he's ready for Jongdae to hate it. But Jongdae doesn't, making a content noise in his throat and looking at Lu Han to continue.

"They worship the Sun, and they worshipped Xiangyue," Lu Han explains around a mouthful of food. "And by default they worship the next Alpha in line, even if they don't like me."

"Like listening to the government because they're in power and that is the law," Jongdae says with an understanding nod, remembering the political lessons he'd listened through, though most of it he was definitely asleep for.

"Exactly,." Lu Han says with a sigh. "Though the braver rebellious ones have joined the cult. It's quite large now."

"Will they come for us again soon?" Jongdae asks nervously, willing his hands not to shake.

"Most likely,." Lu Han says, though he has a hopeful glint in his eye. "I'm hoping to reach my palace before hand. They cannot enter there."

"Are we just going to hide then?" Jongdae wonders, frowning at the thought of locking himself away in yet another castle, this time for life.

"We'll fight them,." Lu Han assures him, wicked grin taking over his features. "Just on my terms."

"What do your terms involve?" Jongdae asks, curling his toes into the warm grass and glancing suspiciously at Lu Han.

"You'll see?" Lu Han says as if it's a question, looking shy if only for a moment. "You'll see."

CUT OFF FIRST PART
--

Jongdae never does get to see them fight on Lu Han's own terms, never does get to hide in the safety of his palace and look over plans of attack. The horses come all at once, cloaked riders flying over the hills and dipping into the valleys, nearly hidden by the tall prairie grass.

Jongdae recognizes the rider in front, has seen him multiple times before, and he looks no different here now, ten years later.

It's Yifan, the Ddark Rrider from Yixing's charms, leading what looks like an army, too many figures, too many horses, and this time Lu Han runs too, dragging Jongdae by his wrist so roughly he thinks it might break off.

They end up in the town nearby, the one with the markings of Xiangyue on their houses, the ones that welcome them inside the underground safe area, that leaves them alone while Lu Han panics, frets, covers Jongdae's ears against the screams that come from above as the villagers are murdered.

"They can't find us down here,." Lu Han whispers, reassures, hands never leaving Jongdae, eyes never leaving the door. Jongdae feels like a prisoner again, sees the tiny window in the door as his own bedroom window.

Except no one is going to call up from below to give him gifts, no one is going to be waiting outside the door ensuring his safety, and no one is going to climb through the window and claim to be a deity.

The deity is right next to him, hissing in anger and trying to explain to Jongdae why he can't fight them off, how clever they are for attacking in the night hours when Lu Han can't use his full power, can't harness the sun's energy and smite them all.

"We'll stay here until sunrise,." Lu Han says quietly, and he gives Jongdae a long searching look, a light smile upon worried features. "You'll stay down here. They're probably going to be outside waiting for us, and if you go up with me you'll be in danger."

"But so will you,." Jongdae says quickly, hands tugging at Lu Han's sleeves as if he's about to leave now, as if he's going to leave forever. "You'll be in danger."

"I will,." Lu Han admits, slumping against the concrete walls of the cellar, fingers trailing their way up and down Jongdae's arms, circling his biceps. He's doing it absently, without realizing, and it comforts Jongdae, soothes the harsh beating of his heart. "Yifan knows where my perish mark is. But he won't get to it, and he won't kill me without killing you first. I know how the cult plays."

"Why would they kill me first?" Jongdae asks hollowly, not sure if he wants to hear the answer, cowering beside Lu Han when he hears another blood curdling scream, a deep, shouting voice heard above the rest.

"Because what better way to torture someone they despise than to have him watch his lover be eaten alive in front of him?" Lu Han says, voice nearly silent and pause between syllables. "They're cruel people running on years of hatred and greed."

"And what about Baekhyun?" Jongdae asks suddenly. "Why is he leading this? Why does he want this so bad when he can watch you suffer with the curse? Is he loyal to your mother?"

"Baekhyun isn't loyal to anyone." Lu Han says with a shrug. "He's a trickster. He does this because he wants to, and he does this to appease Yixing. This is all a game to him."

Jongdae tucks those words away, keeps them in the back of his mind and vows to remember them, to use them in the future. For what, he's not sure yet, but that one part of him -- the Chen part of him -- is telling him that this is a good idea, that games are what he's good at.

It's quiet for a few hours, Lu Han leaning against Jongdae's side with his head on his shoulder, waiting for his transformation, for the power of the sun and the power of the curse to give him what he needs to destroy Yifan, to destroy his group of riders.

The transformation is sudden, warmth of Lu Han's body, and softness of his hair becoming fur and four legs, snarl ripping from his throat as he leaps towards the doorway, turning back to nuzzle Jongdae's nose and lick a long, wet, stripe up his face.

It's quiet again after that, time ticking by slowly, too slowly for Jongdae's liking, panic rising and restlessness growing as he sits on the cold floor, watches the latch, cold and heavy sit still on the door, watches shadows flicker across the window as the sun moves behind clouds.

And then he hears it.

PART 2